The Adventures of a Bond Mommy!

I'm back!!!

2011-10-28T10:52:00.001-06:00

It appears I do have some faithful followers because I am getting hate mail that I haven't done a blog post in some time now. Over 2 months to be exact.

Why haven't I have a post....because I am so busy.....being a parent has made me more busy than ever. For real, now that I am at home most days and not in the office I seem to have less and less time for things that I used to have time for.

My days are filled with cooking, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, playing, settling baby for naps, play dates, errands and babysitting a couple children on a part time basis. Aside from all of this, I still have to shower and do laundry and all the other extra things which relate to running a household and family. I have become this woman who can multitask like never before. As great as it is, I can get frustrated and there are days when it doesn't all get done, or showering is the last thing on my list.

We did another session of Mommy Connections and I made some more wonderful friends with adorable children. Funny how sometimes when you have a young child, you feel so alone but at the same time feel as though you have more friends than you can possibly visit and see.

My younger sister Brittany moved here at the end of September. This of course has come with many ups and downs. I feel that sometimes I am too hard on her or that I am too motherly to her. This is a switch that is hard to turn on and off. She is so much younger than I am, and I find it hard to remember what it was like at her age. This maybe is because we are different people and have lived different lives. Similarities there are, but all in all it is very different. She is also going through her own changes and I need to remember this must be a really hard time for her.

Sutton has changed SO much! He went from slithering to crawling. After he could properly crawl he instantly was pulling himself up and cruising. Now he can walk without assistance for several steps. My little boy!!!!!! My baby is becoming a little boy! He can wave 'Hi' and loves to do this. He prefers to point with his middle finger, this of course is quite funny. Teeth are popping out everywhere and the sounds are never ending.

Omg, i can't even finish this post, I am newly obessed with True Blood and Sutton is sleeping so I have to take advantage of this time to watch it uninterrupted!!!!! hahaha

What a Week

2011-09-15T18:30:00.001-06:00

Well it's been busy around our house the last week or so. Alana Mum and his Nanny were here from Thursday to Tuesday. It was a great visit. We did he usual mall and dinner. Played 5 Crowns which I love, went the the Farmers Market and went to the Royal Alberta Museum.

Nanny is truly a remarkable woman. She is 81, and she's as sharp as a tac and you can't get anything by her. She is a little slow moving and can't bend all that well, but she is 81. She remembers so much of the past. She was raised in England, married Grandad and his work as a geologist discovering new places where oil was took them to India, Ecuador, and Burma. She has birthed in all these countries and I was so eager to hear about her experiences. Well, I was a little bummed out to hear that she had private healthcare and British doctors. She was never in the woods with a local Indian woman assisting her to give birth in the most natural setting.
She has lived a life we can't even imagine. She was a child during the war and after she didn't experience the depression as others might have. Her father did well, and as a result she wasn't poor. She trained to be a primary school teacher, but soon after married and had babies and when her eldest (Alans dad) was 6 weeks she boarded a plane and left England. This wasn't at all common for those times.
She had servants, cooks, house boys, you name it.
This isn't to say she didn't see the real world. She saw it and she lived it. Her stories are so fascinating, and so well told.
Mum and I sugguested she write a book. She of course says this is something she wouldn't ever do. Why I don't know. Wouldn't you buy that book?
After all of that, they took a big gamble, moved back to England and purchased a hotel. Years later sold it and Grandad passed away a few years ago.
She is still a world traveler though. She has children in Dubai, Australia, and Canada, who she often sees.
She is so strong and so knowledgable, but at the same time so lonely I think. Loosing a husband so unexpectedly must be heartbreaking.

On another note, Sutton is learning so much. He went from slithering to a proper crawl. He can also pull himself up to a standing position. He can wave too. Nanny taught him to clap. He loves to throw a ball and clap and smile afterwards.
Watching him grow, learn and discover is truly amazing.
He has also been sleeping in his crib through the night more times then not. He also goes to be well now, and has both daily naps in his crib. Fantastic. Goodbye swing, you were amazing!

We have started another moms group, so this is great. It is for toddlers, so Sutton is by far the youngest in attendance!

AND I finally got an iPhone. I feel so special. I love having a camera on my phone again! I have an iPad so it was fairly easy to learn. My numbers are all transfered over and I'm uploading apps like I have nothing better to do.

I have also joined yoga, and my local community league! Wow, busy lady I am!

1 Little Monkey Falling Off The Bed!

2011-08-29T22:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Lord, it happened. My baby got hurt on my watch. I'm told this is normal and will happen time and time again, but that didn't make me feel any better at the time it happened, or even now.
Sutton was in bed with me, as he normally is in the mornings. After nursing and napping on and off for a couple hours, he decided it was more fun to kick me in the face, repeatedly. This is part of his daily morning routine. I am usually awake at this point singing, laughing, talking, fake sleeping or anything else that comes along.
Today was like normal, then I fell asleep. This is when IT happened... I woke very alert because I heard a thud, then a cry. I flew out of bed and saw my precious little boy, laying on his back on the hard non carpeted bedroom floor. He was wedged between the bed and the side table. I instantly scooped him up while grabbing the phone. I called a friend who thanks to his firefighter education was able to assess Sutton through the phone. No blood, no obvious bump, pupils normal, not sleepy, etc.
I nursed him, he played, ate breakfast. I also held off his nap for almost an hour longer. He is just fine. Thank God.

This now brings some questions, which I've been trying to answer all day, but yet to have a definite answer.
Will Sutton be in our bed with just him and I again?

When he wakes around 230 or so, he comes to bed with me. I would love to nurse him in his room and put him back in his crib, but honestly, I always forget. I'm asleep and practically naked, and just bring him to bed with me. Lately Alan has been getting him and bringing him to our room. Sutton nurses, sleeps and the wakes around 6 or so and nurses on and off for a couple hours. Its usually just after 8 when we wake. SO, what do I do to change this routine?
I will add that Sutton exclusively co-slept with is for almost 8 solid months. He has only been in his crib for about 1 month, for the first half of the night for the most part. My day cannot start at 6am, that wouldn't work for either of us. Plus, sleeping, cuddling and nursing is a part of our day that I truly cherish. I think we both do. Even on the mornings that Alan is home we still do this, and Sutton always wakes Alan up by trying to climb on him.

Do I get a bed rail? Do I make sure I don't fall asleep, as I never have before. Do I make a barrier of some sort? Do I duct tape him to the bed!
I just don't want anything to change, things are perfect as they are, except for today when Sutton fell off the bed.

One thing to add, I went into the bedroom later today, to get dressed....at 2pm.....and saw the little mirror on the bed. He must have seen it, grabbed it, and then went to grab my hairspray, and that's when he fell. I don't know this, but this is what clues the evidence is leading towards.

Why did I fall into a real sleep and not just doze like normal?

Sutton is just fine now and got a little tougher today....or he is not going to be getting straight A's in school, I'm not sure.

The Decision Has Been Made

2011-08-26T00:19:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here in bed, with the house all tidied up and on lock down. Alan is out of town again, and as much as I hate it, it is nice at the same time. I have had a few hours all to myself, and it feels great. Sutton isn't away, he is in his own crib in his own room, all sleepy and cosy, dreaming of mommy milk and pizza...maybe, maybe not!

So, Alan and I finally made the decision about me going back to work or not. Well, I made my choice I guess, he is OK with whatever I decide. I decided...that....I....am..... NOT.....going.... back.....to.....work. This was such a hard decision for me. Funny how it took me so long to decide, because come to think of it, I really knew this on Nov 19, 2010, I even remember the time, it was 10:45am. I love to work, to learn, to be responsible and be in charge of doing something, and of course I like to social aspect of it.
I do work now though, everyday, all day with breaks being very rare, and lasting only minutes if i do get a break. I am always on call, so I can't plan much for myself. Or when I do plan something, I will never be alone or more than a few hours.

I haven't yet told my employer that I won't be returning. I am sure they assume I won't be. I went in for a meeting a few weeks back to discuss working part time, and they weren't willing to do half days. This doesn't work for my nursling. I though about half days elsewhere, but again, it's a childcare issue. We...or I, don't feel comfortable leaving Buttons with anyone until he is around 2. That way, I feel, I will have a better understanding through him what sort of care he is given. He may be talking then, but I am sure I will really know by his behaviour. It's crazy to think of my little boy being 2.
So, there, decision made. I am going to officially be a full time mommy and housewife....with no financial compensation. How will we make ends meet, I have no idea. Maybe we will have to sell everything we have....kidneys included, I have no idea. We are very comfortable with this decision, and maybe after my mat leave runs out in November, we will have to re-evaluate. We did discuss selling the house, and finding something more manageable. I thought about taking in a child or 2 on a part time basis, delivering flyers, whatever it takes. It won't equal my wage before Sutton, but we are starting to see that every dirty brown penny does count.

I finally feel comfortable and at peace. I've taken the stress away by simply deciding, and knowing I am doing what is best for my son, and my family. Perhaps now, I can focus on my health more as well. Crap, I am supposed to be fasting for bloodwork tomorrow...opps!

Summer is coming to end very quickly, and it feels as though it has just started. I love summer, and I never want it to end. Before long, it will be -40'C in this province, and all everyone will talk about is how cold it is.....
We have done so much this summer, and I can't believe that in a sense my summer continues, not the weather, but the feeling of freedom that summer brings. No more back to school traffic, not seeing daylight because I am stuck in a concrete pit all day. I will be home everyday with my little man, playing house in real life, only this time, I am not pretending to be the Dad, I am a mom...in REAL LIFE!!!!

I just had to sneak out of the house in my tank and undies to get the camera from the van so I could upload these pics!

I see him do this and think..."Omg, remember when he could hold his head up!"

The swings could be an all day activity for Sutton!

My popsicle got stolen!

Sutton's other best friend!

Baby playdates...this was at the end when Sutton wanted a nap, or was mad because he was the only boy!

Almost 9 months...

2011-08-14T22:47:00.000-06:00

The day I got pregnant didn't seem like long ago, and the day I gave birth seemed like yesterday. My little boy is growing so quickly. I am not the same person I was just months ago. I will never be that person again. The person I am now is more real, more patient, more loving, more sympathetic, and more true. Oh, and I am also SO busy.

My baby will be 9 months old in just days. I think about his birth daily, and when I look at his newborn pictures (which I wish were professional), it seems like a lifetime ago and at the same time like yesterday. He has changed so much. I know that every parent feels this as well, but I guess until you experience it yourself it's totally unimaginable.
I spoke to a friend recently and we mentioned how the parent I thought I was going to be is not the parent that I am. I never thought I would co-sleep, nurse for as long as I have, not believe in CIO, and so many others. I love being Sutton's Mommy, and I think I do a really good job, better than I ever imagined. Sutton recieves so much love and understanding. I recognize his cues, and act on them. I remember his personality and react accordingly. He is such a sweet precious little boy. I have never known love like I do now! Throw in the fact that I have an amazing husband who is a great father, pretty much concludes that my life is perfect!!!

Yard Sale Crazy!

2011-08-14T22:34:00.001-06:00

Oh my, yard sales are a great way to meet great people, as well as really really creepy people. It amazes me how some people are.

Here is the history behind our yard sale. I like to store things in Rubbermaid bins. This is a problem. Obviously! Luckily we have a great deal of storage in our house and it wasn't really a big issue to have them all, as they were hiding in the basement. Alan of course hates this. Last summer he started talking about having a yard sale. I wasn't a fan of this, as it meant that my precious belongings would be sold for next to nothing. I didn't like the idea of people coming onto our property. But most of all, it meant we had to go through all the bins. Yikes!
Alan brought it up again this year, and I said fine, let's do the stupid thing. We sold our downstairs living room furniture a couple weeks ago and this sparked it all. It was a time to clear it all out now. It took a couple nights and we got through it all. We skipped pricing and organizing because it seemed pointless to Alan, and hard for me to do with a baby. I love wearing Sutton, and he likes it too, but its too hard when bending and lifting, and stairs.
We agreed, or shall I say that Alan gave in to do it in the front yard. As it tuens out...like I knew, it attracted so much more traffic. I borrowed 5 long tables from a friend which was GREAT!!!

We started around noon on Thursday and went through until 9pm on Saturday. We have sold so much of our treasures, I mean crap, but there is still lots left.

Someone asked if we had a DVD player, so we went and got ours and sold it, along with our TV from downstairs. After all, we don't have any furniture down there now.

Our neighbours joined us yesterday and we are having a joint garage sale, and it is so much fun. On Saturday we took shifts, as we both had stuff to do at some point during the day/

We seem to attract many people who are not all there. They are mentally disabled, but provide a lot of chats to say the less.
- One guy came looking for a DVD called Drums Of Africa. He was very persistent. It was crazy. He didn't have a computer but wanted us to go on ours and look for it online. He was really annoying because he just wouldn't leave.
- One woman had a pile of stuff, we said $5, she said $10, SOLD.
- Many people drive past slowly looking, and then keep driving.
- 3 people have asked us if we have seen their dog. Alan yells no, I of course get their address, dogs name, description, etc. Haha poor puppy all lost!
- Our frist customer was a really odd character. He was really greasy and yucky. Super creep factor. He touched everything, and talked about everything. He tried on Alan's back support belt what seemed like a million times.
- Some cultures are SO cheap! It's unreal. Like seriously, unreal. We had a chair marked for $30, and she offers $10. This is after Alan tells her she makes the chair look good! haha Gross!
- A few people came back a couple times, with their spouse or friend.
- I was nursing, and one woman asked me how old he was, I told her and she responded with "Oh, wow, and he't still attached. Gross, I never breastfed, my nipples were too sensitive" I decided to tell her I would breastfeed for 2 years if Sutton was interested. I wanted to scream at her and punch her in the face, but in the end decided against it.
- Things that sell are: knives, flashlights, planters, DVD's, tools, clocks/watches, army stuff...dear god, did that stuff sell!!!!
- Unsuprisingly, only 3 people bought VHS tapes.
- Its amazing how many people are looking for something in particular. Some even yell from their car.
- We had so may random cords, etc, and most people looked at them, that was entertaining.
- It was obvious where we intended people to walk, but only 2 walked though the wring way!
- I saw a nun for the first time ever!
- When you wave passer bys over, they do come!
- Most of the visitors early in the day were employees from the gas company, water, etc
- When we came back from being out on Saturday, our neighbour came running up to us, to tell us he destroyed our garage. The opener is broken, and now needs replaced. Not impressed, but it was an accident.
We actually had a lot of fun. We made about $500. How great is that. The remainder we donated to Value Village, which is a really really scary place.
Sutton had a great time, he loves outside, and seeing people. It was cute watching him try to get peoples attention.

Having so much fun!!!

The view!

After 3 long days, this is what happens to Sutton's hair!

Innocence

2011-07-28T23:47:00.000-06:00

I love the innocence of a baby. They are never embarrassed or ashamed. They never feel bad for crying. They like the simple things like a plastic bag, a newspaper, a slipper or a Kleenex. These objects be can be so fun to explore. Touching parts of their body is always something that can bring new amusement. A new noise can entertain them for hours on end. When do babies loose this innocence. Imagine life was so simple? Imagine the best thing in life was having your mom close by, and a sound from you could have her running to you instantly. Imagine not knowing anything bad or hurtful? Everyday for a baby is a day to learn, play and love.
Watching the innocence in my son brings me so much joy and so much love. It makes me enjoy my life and eager to go to bed to start another day. Seeing the excitement in Sutton when Alan comes home is always so heart warming. The squeals of delight never get old, and I don't think they ever will.

Raising my son has not aged me at all, it has made me feel young and free, full of life. Everyday I get to see things for the first time again. A plastic container being banged on a floor can make so many different noises, it can bounce and roll or not move at all. Every bang can have a different outcome.

It can be harder these days to clean, do yard work, shower, do laundry and all the other chores and necessities in life. Since I do all these things with a baby close by, or attached to me, it is never the same. Sutton enjoys watching me vacuum and do laundry. He likes the noise, and the movement. I like the final product and the completion, he just likes the act. Again, so simple and so innocent. He doesn't dread going downstairs with a laundry basket, he likes to see where we go, and what we do.

Life has sped up and slowed down all at once. The once mundane chores are now like adventures.

These little creatures can sometimes be so complicated and yet at the same time, so sweet and innocent.

To Work Or Not To Work??

2011-07-11T23:39:00.000-06:00

This decision is harder than I ever thought. When I was pregnant I seriously thought I would go back to work, maybe even early. I also thought I would continue with my courses during my year off. Who was I kidding? Clearly because Sutton is my first child, I had no idea what was going to be in store for me. I had no idea that my child would die if I left him for more than an hour,(or so it seems), I had no idea I would feel at peace being home all day with my son. I had no idea I would have to google nursery rhymes and create dances for them. I had no idea I would take my boob out so many times a day. I had no idea that my days of crazy long showers would be over. I really didn't know anything, I still don't know everything, but I do know how much I love my son, and the time we have together.

These little amazing creatures do grow so fast. I still haven't decided what I am going to do. Will I work full time, part time or not at all. Will I go back to the same place if I do go back? When did I become old enough to make such huge decisions.

If I got back to work, full or part time, there is a lot I have to do to help Sutton adjust to another care giver. I need to work on his sleep, nursing, bottles and solid foods, but mostly I have to get Sutton to be okay without me.

Oh dear god, the stress is huge and I'm not really the type of person who gets stressed out. I should maybe go crawl into bed and snuggle that little ball of perfection. After all, our cosleeping nights are going to change. It saddens me, but it's a family decision that Alan and I made, or one which I agreed to. As with everything regarding Sutton, it will be baby led, maybe a modified version, I want Suttin to ease into his own room and crib well. I know this could be very hard, so we will take it slow. We have done this before with short term success, now to try again.

Goodnight!

7 months, really?

2011-06-19T06:23:00.000-06:00

That's what I said to Alan this morning. How have 7 months passed already. We have just experienced the best 7 months of our lives so far. Knowing that we have this precious little boy only reinforces the fact that we know the rest of our lives will be fantastic. How is that for a guarantee?!?!

Also, today is Father's Day. The funny thing is that we are going to the zoo, the Toronto Zoo. We flew into Toronto yesterday in the early afternoon, and have been sweaty and hot ever since. The humidity is still always a surprise.

Anyway, babes and Alan are napping so I'm going to watch the show I love so much "The New Adventures Of The Old Christine". So funny!

Baby Led Weaning is Fantastic!

2011-06-12T23:51:00.002-06:00

Alan and I are loving Baby Led Weaning (BLW)

Why you ask???

1. Sutton is over 6 months old, he doesn't NEED purees.
2. We won't have to deal with transitioning textures.
3. Sutton loves to sit and eat with us.
4. We eat healthier as Sutton eats what we eat.
5. We are able to sit and eat our meals without entertaining Sutton or holding him.
6. Going out to eat is easy...nothing for us to bring.
7. Learning is constant, he is even starting to use a pincer grip!
8. It is so cute!!!

Many people as us if we are scared he will choke. Of course we are, but anytime he has food no matter what age he is, the risk of choking will always be present. He has gagged many many times, and even vomited a few. This is a safety mechanism and will prevent him from truly choking. He can handle pieces that are too large well, and often spits food out. Sutton is always supervised, we never leave his side. He is almost 7 months old, and can sit well, has an interest in food, can move food around with his around, and can chew and swallow. Pureed baby food is commercially produced in mass quantities and sold everywhere; it has been this way for years and years, but due to the fact that we (most of us) no longer wean our babies at 3 or 4 months doesn't make it an essential product anymore. BLW is not a new concept at all, in fact it dates back as far as breastfeeding....also known as the beginning of time. BLW is a natural transition for Sutton, especially because he is breastfed, he has experienced different tastes, just through my milk.

I do understand why people do purees though. The same with breastfeeding, not everyone does it, and not everyone does it as long as I intend to. I respect this, and I don't judge. I do feel that BLW is great for my family though.

Sutton has tried so many foods, and his favourites change almost daily. He loved bananas at the beginning and no longer goes for them first. He does seem to have a way in which he eats, but I haven't figured it out yet. Occasionally we use the mesh bag thing, it is a great little tool, especially for some meats, fruits which aren't an ideal size for him, and popsicle type things.

Sutton usually only wants to eat food at suppertime. Sometimes he will snack on an apple or something I eat throughout the day. He is still breastfed as his main source of nourishment, but enjoys to eat, and does swallow some.

Here are a million photos of our fantastic suppers!

He started with Oatmeal Cereal

Toast!

He sure can mangle a banana well!

Watermelon!

A happy baby is a baby with yogurt!!!

Mmm, meat!!!

Yum Yum Yummy!!!!

2011-05-19T21:27:00.002-06:00

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am excited to start Baby Led Weaning. I love the concept of baby feeding themselves, and of course skipping purees. I am aware that once he starts eating food it could take a month or two before he actually rips a piece off and swallows it. I look forward to him learning that food will fill his belly. He seems to have lost his tongue thrust reflex and is sitting up well, not in his own, but upright enough. Once he able to sit up we will start whole and large food.

We weren't going to do cereal, as there aren't all that many benefits to it. The iron theory isn't as accurate as many health professionals say it is. We are told that babies have lost the iron they are born with when they turn 6 months. Studies have disproved this theory stating that the only begin to loose it at around 6 months. I also have a few friends who have tried the commercially produced rice cereal and have had negative reactions to it such as hives and constipation.
Alan wanted to try to oatmeal cereal for babies, so we did. What a joy this has been. He was a little hesitant at first however, now he lunges in for it. It is so cute.
Tonight he sat in his highchair at the table and couldn't get enough. We also gave him a little bit of water with apple juice for flavour. Funny funny reactions. I of course want to limit his water intake as I still want breast milk to be his main source of nutrition. I don't want him to fill up on water, as there is no nourishment or fat in it. I do want him to enjoy eating, and to help him to be a happy and good eater when he is bigger.

As for Baby Led Weaning, I will be doing a modified version if it. I am not wanting to wean Sutton from the breast just yet, but I am wanting to introduce him to REAL food, in the form in which adults eat it. I have been reading Baby Led Weaning by Gill Rapley, and it is fantastic. So logical. I look forward to not pureeing foods and spoon feeding.

To contradict myself though, we did do baby cereal where we spoon fed Sutton and let him feed himself as well.

Here are some pictures, which I will cherish forever!!!

Alan helping Sutton eat, he was leaning forward to get to it faster!

He loved the spoon and trying to get the food off! Ahhh, such a big boy!

Yum! He was licking it off his hands!

Water with a smidge of apple juice, it must have been sour!!! (I found a sippy cup which Sutton will actually drink out of, and he does it by holding it himself. It is the Tilty Cup. Hopefully he will drink breastmilk from it, as he is refusing the bottle still and the other sippy cup we have.)

Playing is so much fun!!!!

2011-05-06T17:42:00.000-06:00

In the last couple weeks Sutton has been loving his Exersaucer. I do not like to keep him in for too long as he cannot yet stand on his own, but he LOVES it. He grabs at everything and pulls the toys, presses the ones to make songs and just flails around. It is so exciting to see him get so overwhelmed at all the toys and the songs. After about 10 minutes though he has had enough! I am using the excersaucer as a tool to help him play on his own. I love to always play with him, but I feel it is important that he also be able to entertain himself alone or with toys for short periods of time. His hand eye coordination is also delveloping as is his abilty to reach out and touch things. This will help when he is ready to start eating solids by baby led weaning. He is learning cause and effect. He knows that certain things make certain noise, sometimes it takes him a while to remember or figure it out, but once he does, he doesn't stop!

My perfect sweet little baby is growing so fast!!!!!

Here is a video of him playing. I couldn't do it with the camcorder as I do not know how to upload, so I had to use my cell, the quality isn't that great, but of course his cuteness shines through regardless! He mostly stared at me, but when I am "not looking" he really plays and explores!

I connected at "Mommy Connections"

2011-05-03T16:32:00.002-06:00

One of my many fears while being pregnant included being at home alone with a baby all the time. I am such a social person, how could I possible handle the adjustment to not working and not being with other adults? Wouldn't I go crazy? After mentioning this to some other mommies, they suggested I join a post natal moms group, which sounded like a lot of fun, and a nice weekly getaway! I was excited to get out of my pj's, do my hair, make up and choose a cute outfit for both me and baby.

I decided to start looking for one. This did not come without many challenges. There were so many, some far, some close, some free, some had a fee, some in houses, some in cafes, some for babies, some for kids, some with structure, some without. I ended up not choosing one, as I basically wasn't able to choose or bother with contacting people. For a couple they had you fill out forms and almost be accepted.

I was in a restaurant one day, when I was talking to another mom there. She mentioned she went to Mommy Connections. As quickly as she mentioned it, I inhaled my burrito, grabbed my baby and went home to google this group. Well, was I suprised! I could apply online, and the application was just my contact information. There were several locations in the city that had the same program, so naturally I chose the one closest to me! Now, to wait for the following Monday.

I loved that every session, we started out talking about our babies and anything that had happened in the last week. Babies learn so much everyday, so there was always something for all of us to share. Actually it was one Monday morning at MC that my baby fully learned to roll over, maybe watching the other babes insipried him. I also liked that the days were structured. I didnt want a moms group at a coffee house because what if I didn't click with the other moms there, I would have to sit in silence and just wait. Well, knowing me, there would never be silence, but I wanted structure. I wanted to learn while socilaizing. Mommy Connections offered this.

The days were all the same in structure. We had 2 presenters each Monday for 8 weeks. Some of the topics included Itnellidance Babies, First Aid, a lacatation consultant, Kindermusik, introducing solids, Discovery Toys, and infant massage, sleep, just to name a few. One of my favourite sessions was when the North Edmonton Mommy Connections Director, and Tiny Gems consultant Lyndal spoke about cloth diapering and baby wearing. Those are 2 things I am passionate about so it was great to learn lots and chat with other moms about it. She also did a demonstration on different baby carriers. Oh, and we had a professional photographer from Island in the Mist Photograhy come in and take "Mom and Baby" Photos. She did a wonderful job, the photos are amazing!

The location was great, especially if you had other children, they could play at Gymboree and have fun for the full 90 minutes, while the moms and babies all sat together.

I have made several friends through Mommy Connections, who I will keep in touch with. They were down-to-earth women who were all there for the same reason. One thing that stuck out the most in my mind was that for the most part we all breastfed. Even though breastfeeding is so natural and best for baby, some people do not like to see you do this in public. It was great to sit and breastfeed with sometimes 10 women....AT ONCE!!!

I enjoyed this program so much that I joined again. I decided to try a different location so that I could meet new women and hear some different presenters. It is great to get out once a week and see the same people, get to know them and their babies. We have a common bond in the fact that we are raising our little babes. I have great friends outside of Mommy Connections, but those without children, or with older children simply cannot relate to me right now, and sometimes it is just nice to talk to someone who is going through the same changes in life as yourself. When we were learning about sleep, we got to ask questions to the presenter, and one mom turned to me and said "I'm glad it's not just me!" Sometimes it is reassuring to know you aren't the only one who is having challenges or joys, and sharing it can mean so much. It is also exciting that my 5 month old baby has friends!!!! Today at Mommy Connections, he even held hands with a little girl....uh oh, now I am in trouble!!!

'No Cry Sleep Solution' Book Review

2011-04-27T23:22:00.001-06:00

As mentioned in an earlier post, I had started reading the book 'No Cry Sleep Solution'. I had really started to enjoy the book, but hadn't yet got into the "how to" section. As I was reading I knew this was going to be a lot of work, as everything involving parenthood is. As the book progressed, I had to start the logs, this is where the challenge came in. When I started this book, Sutton was sleeping the first half of the night in his swing, and the second half in our bed. I was supposed to write down what time he woke, how long he nursed, and what time he fell back asleep. This was almost impossible for me to do, because in order for me to write it down, I would have to turn over to the bed side table, risking waking Sutton. I also would have to stay awake. Sometimes I cannot tell if Sutton is comfort sucking or if in fact he is nursing. (I know, 5 months in, and I still don't always know!)

The thing I love about co-sleeping, is that I get a full nights sleep...for the most part. This may seem selfish or lazy, but sleeping is important for me, Sutton and Alan. Alan doesn't wake at all, but is very aware of Sutton's presence in the bed. We do what works, and this is the best decision for our family.

For 5 months now I have gotten much "advice" about how to get Sutton to sleep in his crib. Some advice is from friends or family or people who genuinely care, this is fine. But many people tell me that he will never sleep in his crib if we don't make him do it now. We all know this is not true...don't we? Am I the first person to ever co-sleep? What about cultures where co-sleeping is the norm? What about large families in small houses? Why are some people so oblivious to the fact that I am not crazy or making bad decisions? We all judge I guess, but it's no fun when people judge me.

Alan and I decided that co-sleeping was good for us, it was something that worked, and something that we felt Sutton needed. We have been trying the crib on and off the last couple weeks, and it is going really well. He falls asleep at the breast as usual, and then we place him in his crib, he always lies on his tummy, looks around, then cries. Instantly I pick him up and hold him chest to chest. He quickly falls back to sleep, and then after a minute or 2 I place him back into his crib on his tummy and pat his little bum. He settles just fine, and sleeps for about 4 hours. At this point, he comes into our bed, and I nurse him and he stays the rest of the night.

I am aware that I should sit up, nurse him and put him back in his crib, but we have come so far with him sleeping for any amount of time in his crib, that we will slowly progress to the full night.

The most important part of all of this is that every morning I wake up to little hand in my face. To smiles and kicks and little chatter! Sutton obviously has slept well, and is well rested. That is key, Sutton gets the sleep and comfort that he needs and is entitled too.

However....I really really wanted to read the entire book, and apply the techniques. In the meantime though, we have found a technique that works for us. I will read the rest of the book, but not do any of the logs. We have already established a good nighttime routine and are getting our baby to sleep without crying it out!

I cannot upload a picture of Sutton sleeping in his crib, because I do not dare go in there and risk him waking to the startling "bright lights of heaven" of a flash I have on my camera! Another good parenting move on my part!!! Yeah!!!!!

Cool We Are!

2011-04-19T00:14:00.001-06:00

My little sister Brittany just flew in from Ontario tonight. My mom from Ontario is also here, but she arrived a few days ago. Anyway, it is 12am, or almost 2am for Britt, and we are both sitting here writing blog posts.

Anyway, I am just sitting here at the kitchen table enjoying my tea and the music from Sutton's swing. Then she mentions my pantry door, I had no idea what she was talking about, I looked at her, and I realized what "pantry" door she meant. I looked at her again, and held my head in shame and said "That isn't a pantry, that's the junk closet!"

This is what she saw when she opened it......then she says "Wow, lots of good stuff in here!!!"
She is clearly the greatest person to ever walk this planet!!!!

I love Spring!!!!

2011-04-10T19:24:00.002-06:00

I love spring. I think it might be my favourite season. The snow melts, the weather warms, and everyone is so happy. I do love the fall too but everyone is always so negative awaiting the first snowfall, and the first COLD day. We also pack up our patio furniture and prepare the house and yard for the next few miserable months. It's just a feeling of ending, dying even. But the spring signals new life, and a new outlook.

Oh, and it is also my birthday month!!!!

Here are some photos of Spring so far for us!

I need some new baby approved sunglasses for The Butt!

A lovely walk!!

I have feet!!! Yay!

Time to clean the car...I mean minivan!!! Waiting in line for the car wash gave us time for a quick nurse and bum change!

Got all the ice off finally!

Milk Maid Tea Experiment

2011-04-09T10:58:00.003-06:00

I must start this post by mentioning I am VERY pro breastfeeding. I do not look down on mothers who use formula, but I always wonder why. If it comes up in conversation, it is always the same thing "I wasn't producing enough milk" What does that even mean? Breastfeeding works best if you do it. I know it can be hard to wait it out; especially, if you feel your baby isn't getting enough milk, usually they are though, but if you continue to feed the baby it will work out, and if your supply is still low, there is much you can do to increase it. Assess your lifestyle, your diet, your stress level, your determination.

I must also mention, I am not in the medical field and do not in any way possess a medical degree except for the one I issued myself in the ability to 'Self Diagnose'. I am also not a Lactation Consultant. I am not going to provide any studies or research in this post, I will simply speak from experience and conversations I have had with others.

My son has been exclusively breastfed for 4 and a half months....his entire precious life. At first I wondered if I wasn't producing enough milk. Now I think that maybe I just don't store a lot, I have small storage tanks maybe!!! My milk came in right away which was wonderful. At our 1 week check up I mentioned to my doctor that I was concerned I had a low milk supply,

and she was not at all concerned as Sutton was back up to his birth weight in less than a week, on average they say it takes up to 2 weeks. She did give me a prescription for a medication which can aid in more milk supply. In fact, she said she had a patient who adopted, and was able to breastfeed because of this medication. I did not fill the prescription as when talking with a friend about my concerns, she basically told me that my body knows what to do, and if the baby doesn't suck the body doesn't produce. Tough it out, hang in there, and most importantly to keep at it. I consider her a hero in my breastfeeding adventures. Another thing she told me was to not have any formula on hand, it will only make me want to use it when I am struggling the most. I had to follow my instinct, by body and my son.

Here, almost 5 months later, I still wonder. I think just because I cannot pump very well. It takes me at least 2 days and 4 pumping sessions to get a 5oz bottle. Everyone knows though that a baby sucking at the breast is far more effective than a breast pump ever will be.

Regardless of the fact that I KNOW I am producing enough milk, I still regularly eat oatmeal as it does enhance my supply, and it is so healthy and yummy too, and I get to eat copious amounts of brown sugar!

I was at one of my favourite children's boutiques when I came across the Earth Mama Angel Baby Products. They had a 'Milk Maid Tea' for breastfeeding mothers. I figured I would give it a shot. It contained 16 tea bags for $9.99. That works out to $0.62 a cup.

Man oh man does it ever work. I was going to try it for 10 days, but I just quit last night and did it for 6 days. It really does work. My breasts were definitely larger, huge even. Alan and I pointed and laughed that I was going to topple over. I was also able to pump more than usual. I was slightly engorged, but not too engorged that I was in complete discomfort.

As I mentioned in a previous post....all (or close to all) women can breastfeed. I often hear people say that they cannot, as they didn't have enough milk. How did they know? One cannot determine how many ounces of milk they have. The more you feed the more you produce, and a pump can never replace a baby.

For the first month or so, Sutton was ALWAYS on the breast. Several people told me he was comfort sucking and to put an end to it immediately. I didn't want to to deprive him comfort at all, and I wanted to wait it out. I now truly believe that he was increasing my supply. My son and my body worked together. There are still times when Sutton 'comfort sucks' and sometimes I know he is just needing comfort and other times I think he is increasing my supply. Breastfeeding is a 'Supply and Demand' business after all. The more the baby sucks, the more you produce. Just as your body can conceive a child, carry a child and deliver a child, it can also nourish a child. I am sure there are some circumstances where mothers cannot or do not produce enough milk, but I also believe that determination plays a huge role. If a doctor says you aren't producing enough milk do you believe them? How do they know? Their medical degree doesn't enable them to see through your skin and into your milk ducts. As long as your child is healthy, content and gaining weight properly that is indication that you ARE producing enough milk. Never trust a pump alone. Had I have done this, it means that my son is only getting 2 oz of milk per day. I know this isn't true. I make sure my breast is emptied as much as possible to aid in my body's ability to continue the supply and demand.

So, to conclude my experiment, the Earth Mama Angel Baby Tea is very effective. Please see the ingredients below. I am sure the main ingredient of Fenugreek is the reason it is so effective. I have heard of doctors who prescribe Fenugreek pills as well for the reason of increasing milk supply. I will use this tea again if I want to quickly enhance my supply to be able to pump a few bottles. It seemed to work very quickly. I noticed by the next day for sure. The taste wasn't bad. I could smell and taste the peppermint most.

It also states not to use if you are Pregnant. I am not sure why. I assume it has something to do with the Red Raspberry Leaf in it, or maybe because you do not want to stimulate milk supply too early in your pregnancy. I am not sure why, but I wasn't concerned as I am not pregnant. As with anything, do your research and ask a professional. Most places who sell these products are very well informed as well.

Funny Boy!

2011-04-05T17:36:00.000-06:00

Sutton is so funny!!!! He makes me laugh every single day, many times a day! Watching him learn and grow and discover new things makes me want to have 20 kids to I can watch it for the rest of my life!

We are on a regular schedule now, and I love that. It has variances of course, but we are up at the same time every day and his naps are at about the same time, and the same length. Frees up my day a bit, but I find myself waiting for him to wake up. I could nap, but I would much rather use his time sleeping as time for me to do what I want. Which is often just sitting, or being on the computer.

This week, I was changing Sutton, and I let him air out while I was going through his clothes. I noticed he started to pee. I covered it with my hand, and thought he was finished, so I grabbed a cloth, he then continued to pee and it went in his eye, nose and ear. And of course it went all over his arm, leg and bum. It was so funny. Then a couple days later, he did #2 while I was changing him again.

Sutton loves naked time, and he uses that time to roll around. He feels so free and kicks like mad! Rolling is really his new favourite thing to do. At play group yesterday, we had a demonstrator there for baby massage and Sutton was too busy rolling around to be masssaged! haha He still prefers to stand as much as possible. He enjoys playing in his back as well. He is able to roll both ways but prefers to go from back to tummy. Tummy time is also much more fun now than it used to be. He no longer has to be bribed with a mirror! He also gets less frustrated! Thank god, seeing him struggle was hard, but he was learning at the same time. He is so strong. Everyone comments that for 4 months he has incredible strength!

Sutton smiles all the time, and he has a few different smiles. They are so cute. My eyes still water when Sutton smiles at Alan. Sutton has started to laugh a little. I think he is copying me more than truly laughing, and I can't wait for the day when he laughs a real laugh at something real.

A few days ago I put Sutton in his Exersaucer for the first time since he has been big enough for it. I put the 1000 batteries in it, and he was so suprised at all the sounds, and motion. So much to see, listen to and touch. He just looked at everything with amazment. He didn't know what to do, it was so overwhelming.

Sutton and I cook or bake together several times a day. He watches me do everything, and I explain it all to him while wiping up his constant stream of drool! He will happily sit in his Bumbo and just watch and look around the kitchen!

Playing with toys is now much more fun. He can grab things well, and shake them. He of course loves to put them in his mouth. He has toys that he prefers over others. He likes Gus (Sophie The Giraffe), his Kindermusik rattle, his lovey (stuffed giraffe) and the thing we bought in Texas.

We went to the Health Centre the other day and Sutton weighs 12lbs 10oz. He is 24 inches long. He is perfectly healthy and is growing at a good rate. It shocks me that he is double his birth weight now. I can't believe that he was half the weight he was! My oh my, do they ever grow quickly. I made the mistake of blinking, and here he is growing.

Sutton is the light of my life. He brings me joy like I have never experienced before. I love when I am out and people stop me to tell me how cute he is. He then smiles at them, and his little dimples poke through, and instead of speaking or thanking the person, I agree with them, and stare at Sutton! hahahaha

Sticking his tongue out while being changed!

Chewing in his lovey! You can see in his eyes he really is chewing!

He has discovered his thumb. He mostly chews on it rather than suck it though!

Smiles!!!

Breastfeeding...it is for EVERYONE!!!

2011-04-05T10:40:00.001-06:00

Question: "Will you breastfeed?"

Answer: "Gross, no! Why would I do that? They make formula you know, and I was formula fed, and I am smart-ish, and am rarely sick. Besides, it seems like such an inconvenience. And then the Dad doesn't have to do anything, and everything will be left onto me. And my boobs will be hangy and saggy and ugly. And like as if I want my boob hanging out all the time. And leakage, I hear horrible stories about this, and never want to deal with that. It freaks me out that my child will be sucking on my tit, sick, boobs are for sex, and sex only."

Who would say something so foul...ME, a couple years ago.  Anyone who knows me knows I do not think this way anymore!!! I am so ashamed it brings me to tears!!! I cannot believe that I almost deprived my son of what is best for him.

I remember the day I decided breastfeeding was for ME and should be for EVERYONE! I was visiting friends on Ontario a few years ago and I saw my friend breastfeeding her daughter. I stared in amazement.  You could see their bond and their love, and their naturalism. Then, that same day a friend told me she was pregnant. I looked at her, looked at my friend with her boob out and I was so jealous.  These bitches...they have what I want. I want a baby, and I want to breastfeed...like, immediately. I will remember this day forever, it was one of my greatest days. Of course the day I got married, found out I was pregnant and delivered my son are also high ranked. But this day I feel was the most important, it was the day that my life changed so much. This is the day I think I fully acquired my mothering gene. I was surrounded by friends and without their knowing it, they helped me make the decision that I wanted to be a mother, and wanted to give my child the best start in life by breastfeeding.

I have had several moments in my life that I think "okay, NOW I get it." But why did something so natural like breastfeeding do this for me? I think about this often.

I often nurse my son and talk to him. I pet his little head, touch and kiss his hand, pat his bum and just talk to him. I love how when he is stressed, I can nurse him, and his whimpering slows down and his body relaxes. His heartbeat slows down and he is at peace. He is held, loved, warmed and nourished. But above all that, be is being nurtured, naturally.

I love breastfeeding for so many reasons. The cost...its free, its easy, I never have to prepare bottles or clean them, I never have to listen to my baby scream while I prepare formula, and of course it is best for baby. The health benefits are truly amazing! Have you ever noticed that all ads for formula state that breastmilk is best. There are studies that support this, and really, in this day in age, who is going to argue this anyway?

The health reasons why we should all breastfeed are countless. I often get so discouraged when people say that they cannot breastfeed. I do not believe this. I know I may offend some people here, but I truly believe that we can all breastfeed. If your body can conceive, grow a baby and deliver a baby, you can also provide natural nourishment.

I was talking to a friend one day, and she is my friend (if I can label her) who is the most knowledgeable on everything, she is well educated, and truly is an amazing person. She is constantly learning things, and with everything she says she can show you references and studies based on the facts. I said to her one day "If I hear one more person say they CANNOT breastfeed, I will punch them in the face!" She replied "I think you are being a little hard on people." I almost died. I have read so much, but often cannot relay these facts and studies back to someone. I have also been exclusively breastfeeding for almost 5 months now. I have experience, and what is better than experience. I know she didn't mean to stun me like she did, but I felt horrible that I couldn't back that up with some actual REAL information. So many moms put too many faith in doctors. Doctors are just people. They have flaws, and just because they can prescribe medications and perform surgery, doesn't mean that they are supportive or knowledgeable in natural things.

While I was pregnant, I was seen by several doctors about a genetic health issue. There were concerns that my baby and myself would be in danger. I did a lot of research, got my health records from birth to now, and did my own diagnosis. I decided to terminate myself as their patient. I felt like I was being treated as a case study and not as mother who wanted a natural childbirth. If I continued my care with them as a "high risk pregnancy" I knew I would be seen by an OB/GYN and would have to have a c-section and blood thinners. With these blood thinners I wouldn't be able to nurse my son. In the end I made the right decision. I figured that following my own instinct was best, after all, I was a mother at this point, and mother knows best when it comes to their child.

There are many women who have problems breastfeeding. I am one of these women. We all go through the pain, the inexperience and the sleepless nights that make us want to give up. Determination is key...so is my husband. He knows how important nursing is for me, and this became important to him as well. There were days at the beginning of Sutton's life when I sat there crying. My baby was covered and soaking wet with my tears. But we came through. I had to remember that minutes after Sutton was born, I was nursing him. I had no idea what to do, so I just put him up to my nipple and he suckled away, not the most effective way, but he knew what to do. I have also had to deal with a low milk supply. I don't even know if I do have a low milk supply.  I nurse Sutton so often, but I think it is because he doesn't get a "full feeding" in one session, so I just nurse him more often. My son is happy, healthy, gaining weight, and developing as he should be. I do drink special tea and eat oatmeal daily to enhance my milk supply. Should that have not worked, I would have gone on medications to help me. I also had latch problems and positioning problems. but after a couple visits with a lactation consultant, and again determination, and of course continuation, Sutton and I worked through it. It took us about 6 weeks to fully know how to breastfeed more efficiently.

I would live to go into more details as to why we can all breastfeed, and touch on some of the misinformation out there. At this moment, I cannot, I must get ready to nurse my son, as I see he is starting to wake! I did come across this website though on low milk supply. It is very informative. As always my research will continue. I want to look more into a mothers diet and babies having problems with nursing because of lactose issues and such. Is this fact or fiction? I will find out, and not to prove to anyone, but because knowledge is power, and maybe the more we all know can help ourselves, and help others.

I breastfeed my son everywhere! Whenever and wherever he is hungry or needs comfort I nurse him. (I have even pulled the car over to nurse him in a parking lot.)

When breastfeeding; support is so important. If it weren't for friends, and my husband, I may have given up. I will never know for sure though, as this wasn't my case. Again, I was determined, and my determination paid off! I plan on continuing to breastfed well after a year. I know many people may think this is irrelevant and gross, but it isn't. Even though Sutton will be getting nourishment from solid foods, breastmilk still has benefits, even after the first 12 months. Research it! In many cultures extended breastfeeding is normal. They however, may not have access to formula....point proven once again! If friends and family cannot support you or provide assistance, there are several health centres with lactation consultants and of course there is the Le Leche League for support as well.

I will state that I wish I could write this better. I wish I could express my feelings and beliefs with facts and studies, and in a better mind set to relate these facts. I do not want to offend anyone who doesn't breastfeed, or believes they cannot do so. I just want to express my love of breastfeeding.

My Thoughts on CIO

2011-04-01T09:28:00.004-06:00

I've recently came across a new blog that I love. It s a blog about Attachment Parenting, and I came across this post that I really meant a lot to me.

I have copied only part of the post below, but please read their entire post to fully understand who these woman are and their style of parenting to get the ideas they intended. In this same post they do provide 10 alternatives to crying it out, and of course link their previous posts on the subject and also back up their writing with experience and published articles, books, etc. Again, I really do LOVE this blog!

Here is the portion of the post that hit me the hardest:

I see it all the time on facebook pages and message boards - moms lamenting the torture of listening to their babies cry it out. Nine times out of ten the mom is hating it. Sadly, I occasionally see a mom happy to say the CIO worked and baby is "finally asleep." What tends to happen is that most moms I know hate CIO, but eventually it seems to work. Baby seems to cry less and less when he is left in his crib. And to an extent the trick has worked. Baby has slowly learned his crying won't work to draw his mom back in the room. He's been conditioned to understand his crying won't elicit the attention he needs or wants. He has learned helplessness.

As a parent with a supportive husband who doesn't and will not let her baby cry it out, the last few sentences of the above paragraph really helped me to know that Alan and I are doing the right thing. Sometimes we loose sight of this because of the comments other people make. I do a lot of research on babies and compare my style of parenting to others. I have friends and family who do things their own way, and some are similar to Alan and I and some are not. I think at the end of the day we do what works for us, but also what we believe to be best for our children and family.

As always I continue to research topics about parenting and child development. I am currently reading 'No-Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley. So far it is good, I have only just started this book, but am enjoying it so far, and learning about babies sleep habits, and a SOLUTION to sleeping through the night. We do fairly well with Sutton actually. Sleeping through the night is cconsidered to be a stretch of 5 hours or more. This often happens in our house, so I am not at my wits end, walking into walls because I am completely sleep deprived. I do find this subject fascinating though. Even though Alan and I are comfortable with Sutton's night time sleep schedule, which is nursing him to sleep, placing him in his swing and then bringing him to our bed for his night time nurse then sleeping the rest of the night together. Again, we are okay with this, especially the part about him sleeping in our bed, but ideally, we would like to place him in his crib and wake up 12 hours later. I also understand that parenting doesn't stop between the hours of 8pm and 8am. I am perfectly okay with this, in fact, I love seeing Sutton when I go to get him out of his swing in the middle of the night, and then snuggling with him as he nurses. After this, we both drift back to sleep, and wake up hours later.

Once we let Sutton cry it out, and we will never do this again. I ended up picking him up after almost an hour, and he was too distraught to even nurse, his body was tense, and he was shaking. Alan and I looked at each other and felt so bad for him. I felt horrible that I had let Sutton suffer like he did. I watched him in his crib as he was struggling, and knew we would never do this again. Alan and I both agreed that this was not the method for us. In fact, we knew this beforehand, but because of other peoples pressures, and curiosity, we caved, and we tried it for the first and last time!

I did come across this portion of her book. She is quoting Jean Liedloff's 'The Continuum Concept' (Addison-Wesley, 1977). Here, she describes a baby waking in the middle of the night:

He awakes in a mindless terror of silence, the motionlessness. He screams. He is afire from head to foot with want, with desire, with intolerable impatience. He gasps for breath and screams until his head is filled and throbbing with the sound. He screams until his chest aches, until his throat is sore. He can bear the pain no more and his sobs weaken and subside. He listens. He opens and closes his fists. He rolls his head from side to side. Nothing helps. It is unbearable. He begins to cry again, but it is too much for his strained throat; he soon stops. He waves his hands and kicks his feet. He stops, able to suffer, unable to think, unable to hope. He listens. Then he falls asleep again.

I cried as I read this. That is exactly what it was like with Sutton the one time we let him cry it out. Babies know how to sleep, but they do not know how to sleep like older children and adults. Of course not, they cannot do anything for themselves, why must we force them into sleeping like adults in this method. The above breaks me heart, but this is what it was like for Sutton. Even though he cannot speak to us and tell us what he feels, we both saw what was happening. We both looked at each other with that look of fear and question. And this method of sleep will not be practiced in our family again.

I am eager to continue reading this book, and when I am finished and have tried her methods I will post about our experiences.

Happy Anniversary To Me & Photos

2011-03-30T10:47:00.002-06:00

We celebrated our 3rd Wedding Anniversary yesterday. It was a great day! Alan had the day off, so I left the house...sans baby...for a few hours and got my hair cut and coloured! It was nice to get my hair done and not have to nurse a baby at the same time. And I drove the car too, which was fun.

Later we went to East Side Mario's for dinner. We hadn't been in so long as they not common here, and it is no longer my favourite restaurant. Still was a great time out though.

Photos:

Here we are out for dinner!!! The kids behind us were spying on us the whole time! You can also see my new short hair, the colour is the same as always!

When we got home, I started baking! (See the recipe section for all the tasty details!) Sutton is a very good helper! I had to wash 10 utensils I didn't actually use myself...actually, I still have to wash them! haha

So cute! Little sleepers!

Naked Time is Sutton's favourite time! Mine too, he is so soft, and I can't stop touching his perfect skin. He loves to be free, and kick and roll around!

Playing with his lovie!

He has that expression that says "Really Mom, the car seat again...."

Band of Bonds

2011-03-29T16:55:00.000-06:00

Wow, what a musical family we have here! Music time is very fun! Sutton lays on the floor holding his rattle and banging it off Sophie The Giraffe (who we call Gus) and his cloth diaper. So, at once he is rattling, squeaking and banging. I sing, and Alan dances,and by dancing I mean bopping his head. It's a lot of fun for us all. Sutton also blows spit bubbles which creates a really funny noise!
What a wonderful afternoon!

Cloth Diapering Extravaganza!!!

2011-03-23T13:17:00.004-06:00

Several people (like I once was) are very curious about cloth diapering. I personally love cloth diapers for several reasons:
    - I don't spend $100+ a month on diapers
    - Environmental factors - less diapers in the landfill
    - Better for babies - Less chemicals and toxins on a their genitals for 2+ years
    - Cuteness!!!
    - No blow-outs. for real, they never seem to leak or come out the top back part of the diaper
    - Re-usable! - They can be used for multiple babies!

We waited a few months before using, as Sutton was too small for them, and they were far too bulky for his little body!

Typical questions I get or comments I hear:

1. "Don't they smell?"
Yes and no! They still contain pee and poo, nothing will ever eliminate that scent! I find that disposables always WREAK like urine. It makes me sick! With disposable diapers, the urine turns into a gel type concoction, and that to me is why they wreak! With cloth the moisture is absorbed differently and doesn't create a new material. I do want an actual diaper pail though, they have a charcoal filter in them. But I wash every couple days so they don't build up anyway!

2. "Gross, you have to touch it?"
No, I don't. No more than when changing a disposable. For laundry it took me a while to get a way that worked best for me. I put all the soiled diapers in a wet bag in a bin and then throw them all in the washer on a cold water rinse, and then a cold water wash with soap. AND....I get covered in puke and spit more then pee and poo.

3. "Don't they cost a lot?"
Don't kids cost a lot? I spent probably $400 on my diapers. But I bought many different styles and brands, many of which I don't even use as often as others. But, if you think about it, $400 is only about 4 months on disposables. And with my cloth, I wash and reuse and don't continue to spend on something that is thrown out. I can also use them with my next child or sell them or give away to someone. It took me my pregnancy and beyond and get my stash, so over time you can buy a couple diapers a month if that suits you better.

4. "How do you know what ones to buy?"
This is always the hard part. I asked around and looked at many blogs and websites. Luckily, I had friends using cloth, and their advice meant a lot to me. I also shopped at quality stores who were experienced in cloth diapering. The ones I love the most are the ones I bought after I had started using. Some diapers are really bulky, others aren't. Some are best for skinny babies and some for chunkier.

5. "Isn't it a lot of extra work?"
No, not at all. It is just 1 load of laundry, thats all. And personally, I LOVE doing laundry!

Here are some photos of the diapers I have, and use.

The top diaper is made by Dri-Line a local Edmonton company and sells for just under $7. Below are 2 covers by Mother Ease, both around $12. Very similar. The left is a Velcro closure with side gussets, great for a small legged baby, and the right is a snap closure. These are all sized, so they can only be used when the child is that size. I don't love the Dri-Line as it gets soaked, and for a boy you need the extra material at the top which this diaper doesn't offer.

This is the GroBaby system. (Now called GroVia). I bought these off babysteals.com as a 2 pack (2 covers and 2 liners) for i think $40 or so. At first I hated them, now I love them. The cover can be sized again for babies from 7-35lbs. The liners snaps into place, so you don't need to worry about squirmy baby moving things around. The closure is like Velcro but is not Velcro. Very soft and not scratchy. I often use the cover several times as the liners absorb so much.

The left diaper is a Sweet Pea pocket diaper with a fleece liner. Both are pockets with fleece and need a liner in them. The right is a Bum Joy, I bought off Etsy as a 2 pack for I think $25. So, $12.50 each. These are both one size so, they snap up or down for the size of the baby. They are really soft and easy to use. The snaps are zig zagged so you can make the leg part fit better for small or large babies.

The Flip diaper is my favourite, (by the makers of bumGenius). The cover is lightweight with a PUL lining, so it can be reused. If soiled, just wipe it off. The insert is the Stay Dry also by Flip. The cover is $21 and the insert $7. But the cover I use over and over before washing, a full day usually. I never have any leaking and the cost is great. I also find this a trim fit and less bulky than others. The cover and insert are both 1 size. The cover snaps up an down for size, and the cover folds, providing extra material for boys. For girls you flip it the other way. The cover also has little pockets at the front and back to hold the liner in place. I LOVE this system! And you could buy an entire system of 2 covers and 20 liners for $200!!

Here are some random inserts or liners. The first is the Flip Organic prefold for $10. It folds into thirds, and its OK, too bulky for me though. The next is an Apple Cheeks organic prefold for $13 I think. Love it! It is so soft and absorbent. Not bulky at all either, and Canadian made. The 3rd is a MotherEase liner. I like it as well, but its too thin to use on its own. The last is a liner for the Gro Baby system. They can all be used with misc covers as well.

The top is a cover from WeeHuggers for $20. It soaked through the first couple times but is fine now. I like the Velcro closures, but the snaps to make the desired size don't stay well. Sutton squirms a lot when being changed so I need something strong. The size is good on the large setting though. I like the leg gussets on it. The bottom is a Bummis cover. Their new one. I love the idea of it, but the Velcro is too much. I think it digs his belly too much and the legs are tight, or it is too stiff still. Maybe its too small. I wish it worked better for us.

Baby Butt in a Flip system.

I also use cloth wipes. There are so many on the market, but I like baby washcloths. I had millions of them. I got a Princess Lionheart cloth warmer for $20 from Babies R Us. I wet the cloths with some tea tree oil in the water, gently ring out the water and roll up. I love cloth wipes because disposable wipes cost money and also contain chemicals. (See www.safemama.com)

I store the soiled diapers in this wet bag by Bummis, an then store that in a garbage pail. The bag cost me $25 but doesn't leak. The pail I got from Canadian Tire for $15. I love that the pail has a foot pedal. I would like a real diaper pail but for $40, I loose the foot pedal. I put a couple bounce sheets in the bottom of the pail just in case!

Things to consider and tips when buying cloth diapers:

1. Do your research. I personally like the cover and insert/liner system better than the pocket or All in 1, its all about preferance really.
2. Follow the manufactures washing instructions. (IE. no fabric softener, no stain remover, wash 3 times before use, special soap, etc.)
3. Many people sell their used or new diapers online.
4. You can fade stains with sunlight. I don't care much about staining as they are diapers anyway, and they will stain.
5. For newborn infant poo, just leave it as it is liquid anyway. As the child is older and has solids, they will have to be dumped in the toilet (as you should do with disposable diapers also.)
6. Remember that they are puffy; so clothes might have to be bought in a larger size.

Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions, and do consider cloth diapering. The benefits are great, enviornmental, cost and health!!!!

I'm Still Here!

2011-03-19T19:49:00.001-06:00

Life has been busy lately. You know, feeding a baby, cleaning a house, waiting for the mail to come, doing laundry, and again; feeding a baby, etc etc, you get the picture!
It's no excuse not to update. I will say though, that I am working on a new blog altogether. Something less personal maybe, something where I talk about what I love, my family, natural parenting, and the transition from working girl to stay at home mom. Once I have it up and ready I may disclose the address!!!!

Since I have last posted so much has gone on. Sutton and I went to Houston, Texas for almost 3 weeks, and we had a fantabulous time! Spent lots of time outside, and of course playing with little Penny. Penny is 13 days younger than Sutton, so they are so close in age, but so different in their personalities and such. It is quite funny to watch. We had a few hard days, I think the adjustment for Sutton was difficult and he had started teething, so that resulted in a fussy baby and a stressed out mom. I even had to call Alan crying one day, there was so way I was suffering alone. Of course, when I called Alan he was in Banff with 3 other friends, partying, drinking and skiing. OMG, what I would have done for a few drinks right then! All in all though we had a wonderful time, and the weather was great, we even swam in an outdoor pool. I really enjoyed seeing Zoe and the other family members we saw as well.

Being home has been great, Sutton is back on track and is doing well. We seemed to just pick up where we left off, only better!

We did some minor changes in the house. We got a large area rug in the livingroom and got rid of the coffee table. Now I can get down with The Butt on the floor and play! Love it!! We also moved the TV which I know sounds minor but I love it. I love little changes.

We also moved the bassinett, Sutton seemed too big for it. We are pretty much exclusively co-sleeping, except for when Sutton is sleeping in his swing. Co-sleeping works great for us, and I am so glad that I warmed up to the idea. I never thought I would sleep with my child, but it works best for us all as a family. And of course, if done with safety in mind, it is very safe. The only people who say it isn't safe are people who have not done it or researched it at all. And really, many people co-sleep anyway without really knowing it. Kids who crawl into their parents bed after a bad dream, or are too restless to sleep, parents who are too tired to try to get their kids to bed, often times, parts of the night are spent co-sleeping. The only difference is that Alan and I choose to do this from the moment we all go to bed. I especially love when Sutton is sleeping, and I put my hand in his and he holds it. I think I loose sleep co-sleeping though because I stare at him so much, and kiss his head! hahaha Oh the challenges! hahaha AND, nightime nursing is easier as well! We will definately choose to co-sleep if we have more children as well.

Enough about that....it is making me sleepy!

I am going to join a moms group right away. I hope anyway. I have missed some of the sessions already and am not sure if I can joign part way through, for this particular group anyway. Others are a drop in basis, the one I am looking at is an 8 week dealeo!!! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

My mom is coming to visit again soon, and I cannot wait. It will be so nice to see her, and she is so excited to see the little man again. She last saw him when he was just a few weeks old, so he has changed so much, and likes to interact with people more!

I better go, I heard a sleepy baby a whole ago!!!! Oh wait, Alan just walked up to me....(I am hiding) and he is holding Sutton who is asleep in his arms with his neck almost folded in half....who sleeps like that!?!?!?! Only a baby! But, the best part is, that we now can tell more when Sutton is sleepy, he gives us cues, and being the awesome parents we are, we act on it. I guess Alan must have held him and bounced or walked around a bit. The good news is that I didn't have to nurse him. OMG, my baby is getting so big and independent!!! I better have another quickly!!! haha

Take care, and I promise I will update soon....if anyone is even regularly following anymore, sorry again for being boring the last month with not posting!!!

Happy Friday!

2011-02-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

January was a big month!

2011-02-02T09:04:00.001-07:00

Well, January is over now, and as I look back so much has happened.

Alan is back to work after his 2 full weeks off, which was wonderful. I booked my trip to Houston, and we leave in just over a week, I cannot wait to see Zoe and Zane and of course meet little Penny.

Sutton smiled for the first time in December...on Alan's birthday, but he smiles regularly now when I sing him the song I wrote for him, when we change his diaper (which he loves), and of course when we play and when Alan comes home.

He also rolled over one day. (Jan 26) It has happened twice, but both times he was a little angry so he had enough fight in him to do it. It was so neat, AND I caught it on video as well.
The first time, was on tummy time, he rolled from his tummy to his back, and was so shocked, it was hilarious. The second time, was when he was lying on his side in bed, he rolled from his side to his tummy, and even got his arm out from under him.

We have continued the co-sleeping...kinda. He has slept in his bassinett 4 times in the last week, Alan has moved to the spare room because our bed is too small, but really because his snoring is driving me nuts. I never noticed it before because I slept so deeply, but also because I slept all night!

His sleep schedule has been a little off this week. I have no idea what I changed, but he is getting really fussy again in the evenings, maybe another growing spurt. He will be 11 weeks old this Friday! Wow!!!

We started using cloth diapers during the day, and I love them! We finally found some that fit him well, and that do not leak. That seemed to be the hardest part.

Nothing really new with me, just being a mom, and trying my hardest to enjoy the days at home, it can be hard, the adjustment of being a working girl to a mom, but it's great, and we just need to keep busy, thats all. Houston will be a good break for me. I will miss Alan so much though.

Here are some pictures from the last couple weeks!

Snuggles with Daddy after work!

Breakfast!

Outside in the cold!

Sound asleep!

Smiles - awwww

Strong Baby!

Kobe tanning, outside -30'C, inside is warm!

Laundry day!

Update from my iPad!!!

2011-01-18T15:15:00.001-07:00

Well, I splurged today and bought an iPad. I love it. Seriously, I love it so much. I love the noises it makes when my fingers hit the screen. It's a great sound.
I had thought about buying one a while ago, but decided against it as I was anti Apple. But a friend had commented that she used hers while nursing her child. I have a BlackBerry so I always use that but sometimes I want a larger screen. I saw a commercial last night and said that I wanted one. I got my EI payment finally. Backdated for 2 months. Yay! AND I didn't get a "Push Present"' so this is how I am justifying it. So, happy iPad day to me. I am still learning how to use it, the hardest part was turning it on, and then a friend told me that I had to set up an iTunes account.
Let me know if you have any good advice or apps to download!

My Days Continue...

2011-01-17T15:15:00.002-07:00

Well well, it's been so long since I did a proper post, in fact, it has been about 2 months since my last real post about me and what has been going on.

Clearly, I have been so busy being a mom that I haven't had a chance to even properly get online and just waste time. Actually, now that I am no longer working full time, I seem to have very limited personal time....if that even makes sense.

Over the last couple months so much has happened. More recently though, Alan's parents were here for Christmas, and we all had a wonderful visit. I was sad to see them leave. Sutton is becoming more aware of his surroundings and needs to be entertained. He looks at something to intently and really examines it. It is so funny to watch. It seems as though maybe he has a photogenic memory, or that he will be a genius. He is also getting so big. He has outgrown his newborn clothes already.

really miss my old life. I miss getting up and getting ready for work, hair, make up and clothes. Teh rush of the drive to work, with a stop for breakfast. I miss sitting at my desk first thing, and doing the same routine everyday. I miss wondering what I was going to have for lunch, and then actually having an hour to do whatever I wanted. I miss packing up and taking the elevator down to the parkade everyday at 5:00pm. I miss coming home, seeing Kobe and waiting for Alan. I miss the countdown to Friday and then sleeping in all weekend, and doing nothing, or doing everything, I could do whatever I wanted. My time was that; all mine. I could do as much or as little as I wanted.

As much as I miss my old life, I love my new life. I am so blessed to be able to know who I was then, and who I am now. I am the same person, yet my priorities have changed so much. The transition from a career girl into a mom is fairly drastic, yet it has been relatively easy for me, and I have taken it all in stride. Don't get me wrong, I have had some bad moments and even bad days. But I do love being needed and loved. I love that my son needs me for nourishment, comfort, shelter and entertainment. The feeling of being depended on is a feeling that I don't think someone can truly understand until they are a parent. Being a stay at home mom and wife is better than I could have imagined. My house isn't immaculate and my homeade suppers are elaborate, but I think my expectations were far too high.

The thing that really amazes me the most is that my days do not start and end. They continue on, one day falls into the next.

Sutton and I are gradually getting into a routine. We get up at about the same time everyday, and then we have a day filled with feedings, naps, playing, cleaning, errands, diaper changes, clothes changes, and clock watching. I am always looking forward to Alan coming home. Him and Sutton have a very special Bond. I always knew that Alan would make an excellent father, but to actually see it is something else altogether. The next best thing to my son smiling at me, is him smiling at his Dad. It warms my heart to no end. I love listening to Alan talk to him and tell him stories. Sometimes he just walks around the house and talks to Sutton about everything, the fridge magnets, the pictures on the wall, the contents of his room, the dogs every move, and what I am doing. They always spy on me. The evening can be a challenge though, as that is when Sutton is needing me the most. He likes to be held in my arms and be able to nurse as often as he wants, which is usually contantly. If he is not given this special mom time, he is fussy. I love when Alan has days off because then Sutton and Alan can spend real time together when Sutton is happy and his true personality shows through.

The other night I heard Alan telling Sutton how much the Flames suck. That must mean that Toronto lost the hockey game. Cutest thing ever. Alan held Sutton inches from the TV and he watched it so intently. It was hilarious how enthralled he was with it. Sure its the colours, movement, etc, but Alan believes he is learning the game and preparing to be an NHL player, so we will go with that!

And now for pictures!!!

We have smiles. He loves when I sing him the song I wrote for him!

Jan 16 - Swimming, he loved it!

Jan 02 - A flying baby!

A clean baby!

All dressed up for the Passport office!

More swimming! He looks naked here!

Jan 15 - Hockey Night in Canada!!! He wears his Toronto hat for support!

In his outfit from the Gulleys! So cute! One foot says "Little" and the other says "Monkey" He looks terrified!

Tips For New Moms!

2011-01-06T10:41:00.002-07:00

Over the last 7 weeks I have learned a lot.

Here are some little tips/advice/anecdotes etc. for new moms, I've come by them all honestly, some funny, and others are just plain old common sense!! You may get a good laugh or head smack from them!

Remember though, that I am not a professional in child rearing nor am I a doctor. (Although, I do self diagnose like a pro!!!)

1. Bibs - They can really save an outfit!
2. Lanonlin Cream - A must have those first few weeks of breastfeeding.
3. Bassinet - Must easier to have baby in room with you than in their room, easier for night time feedings, and a sense of security for the baby.
4. Breastfeeding - It is hard, do research before the baby arrives, so when you need it, you have it.
5. Diapers - Don't buy them before baby arrives, because you might need a smaller or larger size, and chances are you have thrown out the receipt.
6. Cloth Diapers - Remember they are really puffy so make sure the clothes you buy fit over the bum, this means you might have to buy larger clothes.
7. Your body - Let it heal after childbirth, there is always lots to do when you get home, but your body needs to heal itself as well.
8. Pads - The ones the hospital gives doesn't have wings, they are mandatory, so bring your own.
9. Onesies (Diaper Shirts) - We went through so many of these, so have lots on hand. it is possible to go through several a day, especially when you haven't perfect diaper changes or the diapers are crap!
10. Sleep Bras - If you are breastfeeding, this will be an essential item. They are easier to get your boob out, and provide a good amount of comfort and support while you sleep.
11. Swaddle - Learn to swaddle or use a woombie, keeps baby warm and secure.
12. Pictures - Take lots, if possible have a nurse take pics during the birth and right after.
13. Meals - If people offer to make you meals, why say no!!! Someone else bringing you supper us always a bonus!
14. Showering - I found night showers to be great. Nice and relaxing before bed.
15. Bassinet (Part 2) - Raise the head part if your baby seems to hate it. This can help with reflux. I also lined mine with blankets so it wasn't so hard.
16. Noises - As much as this can be controversial for long term sleep habits, the Sleeping Lamb might be nice to help baby sleep, sounds of heartbeat, rain, whatever.
17. Waking at Night - Don't wake a sleeping baby, everyone will tell you this. If your baby wants to sleep for 5 hours, let them. If baby is hungry, they will wake! Of course, preemies are another story.
18. Breast Pads - Leakage is no fun, helps to keep the lanolin cream where it should be as well.
19. Clothing Sizes - Newborn size, doesn't always mean small, sometimes it means massive!
20. Pets - We brought a blanket home from the hospital, so it contained my smell and the babies, when we brought the baby home, the dog was already familiar with that smell.
21. Dancing Baby - Do not play this game after a feeding, and if you must play it, don't have the baby over your face!
22. Puke - Where to begin.....Overfeeding your baby is possible.
23. Nursing in Bed - Nursing in bed is a wonderful thing, BUT...you must remember to burp the baby afterwards, otherwise an air pocket forms and all milk drank will come up when the burp does, and then its a waste of the liquid gold!
24. Pretending - your baby knows when you have no idea what you are doing...tell them you do know, and they might believe it!
25. Cuteness - Yes, your baby is the cutest one ever born...well, after mine of course!!!!
26. Swing - Best baby essential we have. Perfect for naps or to contain the baby while you are doing stuff.
27. Left Hand - Start using your non-dominate hand, because you are going to need it.
28. Car Rides - Lots of babies love being in the car, the hum of the engine and the bumpiness put them right to sleep.
29. Baby Book - Buy one, and fill it in before you forget all the information!
30. Daddy - Let Daddy bond with baby as much as possible, if you are breastfeeding, you will find that the baby might prefer you, as you are their source of nourishment and comfort, Dad will eventually be able to comfort baby as well, it might just take longer.
31 Car Seat Cover - If you are fortunate enough to experience -30'C, a car seat cover is great, it will protect the baby from the elements.
32. Strollers - I hate strollers, which is why I bought the smallest one available. Travel systems are NOT any cheaper, and they are NOT safer then others.
33. Baby Carrying - Baby needs practice, so do you. Research them before buying. Some really hurt your shoulders, and others squish the baby. A reputable store will have some for you to try on with your baby. Walk around with it on for 20 minutes, you will know if it is comfortable.
34. Fussiness - It is true, some babies are fussy the same few hours of everyday. They may not have gas, be tired, be hungry or be wet. They might just need to be cuddled!
35. Pumping - This can be hard or easy. There are tricks if you are like me and have a hard time though. Warm compress before pumping, and double pumping. Remember that a baby sucks more efficiently than a pump pumps.
36. Manual - The hospital doesn't give you one, seriously, they don't. Google is a damn good resource though, as are blogs aimed at your style of parenting (which maybe you don't think you have, but you do!)
37. Poo - I could talk all day about poo. There is a huge difference between breastfed babies, and formula fed babies. Your baby doesn't have to poo daily (age depending) so don't fear the worst.
38. Stool Softeners - How could I forget, anyone who has a child vaginally, will probably advise you to take stool softeners, I will do the same!
39. Snaps - Love and hate relationship. I love zippers, snaps can become annoying, there are so many, and can be hard to get closed correctly when baby is squirming, or you are in a darker room. Plus, some outfits have like 20 snaps on them, plus the diaper shirt!!!
40. Sleepers - Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a 1 piece outfit then an actual outfit with a shirt, sweater, pants, socks etc. Easier for changing as well!!!
41. Pacifiers - I shouldn't even get started on this, so I will only say, do what you want. But know the difference in sucking a pacifier, bottle, or breast, all can interfere with eachother!
42. Comfot Sucking - It does exist, it is tiring, but it can be wonderful for the baby.
43. Doctors - Don't believe everything they say! They don't know everything, and they certainly do not know your baby.
44. Plan Ahead - If you weren't a planner before kids, you might want to achieve this special trait. This means all outing, showers, meals, etc work better with a little planning.

This is all I can think of at the moment, if I think of any more, I will add them!

Again, I must say that I am not a professional, and these are not all correct for everyone, but they are for me. Especially the dancing baby game, over feeding, challenges of breastfeeding, a bassinet, left hand, fussiness, puke, just to name a few.

Remember that you know best. This is your baby, and trial and error are usually the best way to figure things out. What worked for you mother, your friend, your neighbour, etc, might not work for you and your baby. Things change all the time over the years. Bottle warming used to be done in the microwave, now it is practically illegal. Feeding used to be done every 4 hours, now they say every 2-3 from the beginning of a feed (yes, this means as soon as the baby is done eating, it may be time to start again), they also say feeding on demand is best as well. You will quickly learn when your baby is hungry or using you as a pacifier.

There isn't a right way or a wrong way of doing things...well sometimes there is, but not for everything. Do what works for you! This is your baby, spend your time loving them and cherishing the moments. And above all, remember that you are the most important person to your baby. They love you unconditionally!!!!

Good luck everyone!!!!!

Photo Update

2011-01-05T18:59:00.001-07:00

It is hard to type with 1 hand, so I will upload pics for now with a breif description!

Enjoy!!!

Enjoying some time with Mom is his Carrier

Daddy giving Sutt-the-Butt a bath. He loves baths, but didn't in thispicture!

December 22 - Sutton all ready for Alan's Christmas Party, I am still in my pj's.

December 22 - Sutton's first Christmas Party. This was the very end of the night, and he was partied out and wanted to see his Mimi and Grandad!

January 5 - Enjoying some time on his mat, with a partial smile!!!

January 05 - Sitting in his glider with his giraffe

December 30 - New Car Day!

Janaury 05 - Chillaxin with Kobe!

Auntie Pearly gave him this adorable shirt. I love the look on his face!

January 04 - Having some Tummy Time!

Sutton is 1 Month Old....Tomorrow

2010-12-18T17:20:00.004-07:00

I was going to do this post tomorrow, however, I have some spare minutes so I will do it now! Can you believe it, I am actually sitting down on the computer, resting after a baking session that was a disaster, listening to Christmas music and just waiting for Sutton to wake up.

Exactly 1 month ago today I was pregnant, anticipating my due date which was the following day. Little did Alan and I know that Sutton would start his decent in just a matter of hours. It is amazing that this time last month I wasn't a parent, and fast forward to today...I am a parent. The last month has flown right by. I have been trying my hardest not to blink...at everyone's advice!

My little sweetheart has been with us for a month now. A month filled with joy, tears, happiness, confusion, laughs, frustration and cuddles. I guess that's the life of a parent. We deal minute my minute and take the hard and easy days in stride. Alan looked at me the other morning, and said "We will just chalk that up to a rough night." Isn't that the truth. We also praise the good nights though, as there are many. We are trying to establish some sort of a sleeping routine. I have read many many articles, some which state that at a month of age a sleep routine isn't possible, and others state it is. We are picking and choosing the parts we like best, and adding them to our memory.

Alan and I make all our parenting decisions together, and that is exactly how I hoped our life would be. I only wish Alan came with boobs. The other day though, I brought Sutton to my breast and made sure his mouth was open wide, and Alan pushed him on, so he helps every way that he can. He is an excellent bather and bum changer. My husband is the greatest husband and a truly wonderful father. Years before Alan and I were together, we joked that we would have kids together. When we sent eachother letters (in the mail, not email) on the return address sections we would write "The father/mother of my child." As it turns out, we knew exactly where life would take us. 10 years later, here we are, happily married, and we have a son together, something I refer to as our "little ball of human perfection"

Sutton recently showed us he can make tears. Heartbreaking, yet adorable at the same time. He hasn't seemed to get sick and tired of me hugging and kissing him though...thank god! He isn't a fan of me not allowing him to comfort suck. At a feeding it is fine or at night time, but not just all day long for something to do. He doesn't like his soother either. He did suck his thumb last week though, and it was the cutest thing ever!!!! He also got his SIN card! What a grown up little man.

This month we welcomed Brayden James into the world. My sister Christine gave birth to an adorable boy on December 15. I cannot wait to meet him. Sutton now has 4 cousins. I often wished we lived closer to our families so that we can all be closer, especially the kids. As much as I wish that, I am so happy here in Alberta. It makes going to Ontario to visit that much more special. But we live in Alberta, and we love it. This is home for us.

We hope to get a new vehicle soon...Alan wants a minivan. Help me God. I am not against minivans, I just never thought I would have one, especially before the age of 30. However, I also had doubts I would have a child before the age of 30. We have a list of pros and cons for vehicle choices, and the minivan is winning.

It is almost Christmas. The house is decorated, and almost all the gifts are bought. Alan's parents (Mimi and Grandad) are coming next week, and we are very excited. They have been in Houston the last couple weeks visiting Sutton's little cousin Penny, and will make their way here next. We will welcome them in our parkas, mittens, toques and boots!!! hahaha

I can't upload any pictures at this time, as we have signs of life, oh wait, maybe not....Kobe was just checking on him. I am so touched at the wonderful Bond these 2 have! It is adorable to see Kobe interact with Sutton. When I was showering the other day, I heard Sutton crying, and I heard Kobe run over to him, then come into the bathroom and push the shower curtain aside so he could see me, then he ran back out to Sutton, and then to me again. He was clearly telling me that Sutton needed me. I have been watching Pet Heroes a lot lately, and have been thinking of making my own show called "Pet Babysitters!!!" hahaha

Here are some recent pics:

Thumb sucking Baby!!!!

Alan looks funny here, still in his work clothes, as soon as he gets home he is thrown the baby and I shower or do laundry! Sutton looks so happy being held by his Dad!!!

I love how Sutton is sitting so straight and tall. He was probably terrified of Alan's shirt or his giant hand!

Oma was here!

2010-12-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

My mom, Sutton's Oma was just here for 5 days days. She flew to Edmonton from Toronto last Sunday and just left today. What a busy week we had. Lots of shopping, laughing, chatting and of course more shopping.

I initially didn't want any house guests until the new year. However, as the days passed and I was feeling confident in my new role as a mother, I wanted to spend some time with my Mom before she left for 3 months holidays. It was great having her here. I had long showers, walked to dog, and regained some feeling from my arms which are usually numb from baby holding etc.

We had a great time!!! Here are some photos:

Picking Mom up at the Airport!

Oma holding her Grandson!

Daddy feeding a bottle which took forever for me to pump!

3 weeks old and in a Christmas outfit.

Morning snuggles from his Oma!

This makes me laugh. He is clearly terrified he is being held by a crazy lady in leopard print jammies and making a babouska with a receiving blanket! haha

A New Perspective

2010-12-10T20:45:00.002-07:00

Three weeks ago if someone asked me the definition of: love, time, patience, sleep, food, breasts, marriage and family, I would have answered very differently then than I would today. It is amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye. Even though I had a full 40 week planned pregnancy, the feeling of holding your baby in your arms, is not something you can be prepared for.

I can't even describe how it feels to be rocking your baby to sleep at 3:00am, sobbing, tears falling onto his head, completely frustrated, and then to look at your baby and tell them how much you love them, and how long you waited to meet them. Love has a whole new meaning to me now.

Breastfeeding....it is hard....it is learned...and it is trying. Even though breastfeeding is so natural for women and children, it is by all means not easy. It is something that the baby and mother have to learn together, by trial and error. I have shed many tears of frustration over this wonderful experience. Even 3 weeks later we are still working on perfecting the latch, timing and of course nursing to soothe. I have received so much advice/opinions on all topics. I have taken offense to some advice, and I am sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me. I know that people mean well, but I think sometimes it can come across as overbearing and rude.
I have had a couple people tell me to let my baby cry, or to offer a soother to calm him, and also not to let him sleep in his bassinet. Funny thing is, we didn't want a bassinet, but it was a good purchase. It is much easier to stay in bed and gather my baby, rather than to fully wake up, turn on lights etc. As far as rocking, soothers, etc go. I had a friend tell me that they rock their child to sleep and don't always offer a soother. They might offer their breast and simple comforts like being held. I thought this was great to hear. This friend explained it by saying that she wants her child to know that she will always be there for them. They can always count on mom, and sometimes, even as an adult, a hug can make everything better. How true is that!?!?!?!?!

Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since my life changed dramatically. It is great, and definitely a learning process. I am beginning to learn what my baby needs and when he needs it. Sometimes it is a guessing game, other times I truly know. I know his signs of hunger, which I presume are the same for all babies. I think I know when he has gas, needs changed, and I know when he wants to be cuddled (which is always!!!!) I can tell how deeply he is sleeping, and I can also tell when he will wake. The things you learn from staring at and spending all day with someone are infinite! But, he is my baby, and I do know him best!!!

So, from the new me, the MOM, I do want to apologize to everyone who I may have been short or harsh with. This is an adjustment time for me, and I think all new moms learn best by following their instincts and not always by advice, which often comes across as opinions and pressure.

Birth Story....Finally

2010-12-01T13:00:00.002-07:00

I was going to do a post on Thursday Nov 18, but wanted to wait until Friday to update a picture of me at 40 weeks exactly....I didn't ever get the photo of my pregnant belly, but I did get a photo of my son!

Where to begin......Thursday night (Nov 18), I went to bed at around midnight. I awoke very alert at 2:30am with fairly bad cramps, I went to the bathroom several times, and couldn't get back into bed to sleep. I waited it out a couple of hours, just standing around seeing if anything changed. It did. The cramps lessened and the feeling of something else came about. I called Joelene, and we talked about timings and such and she thought I was in real labour, I think I knew I was as well. I went online to a contraction tracker and started timing them. The site was really helpful to determine how far apart and the length of each. (Google: contraction master). Alan and I weren't sure if we should head to the hospital or not. We decided when the contractions were about 2-3 mins apart and lasting over 45 seconds, we should start the car (it was -23'C or something), install the car seat, and get all of our stuff together. Because it was 6:30am, we also wanted to get on the road before rush hour traffic as a 10 minute drive could take an hour with the road conditions and traffic as well. We made it to the hospital no problem at all, and I was admitted into assessment. There was no doubt in anyones mind though, that I was in real labour.
They wanted to check me, and I couldn't lie down. With every contraction, I had to be standing, or leaning over a chair with Alan applying pressure to my lower back. Lying down was the worst feeling ever, even sitting was impossible. With every red light on the way to the hospital, I had to get out of the car and stand. I can only imagine what other drivers were thinking.

Anyway, they checked me, and it was the worst pain ever!!!! I literally had to be held down and had a couple different nurses attempt it. We discovered that I was 3cm and 75% effaced. Still a while to go yet. We walked around the corridors and I spent a lot of time on the toilet. My body was cleaning itself out and prepping for labour. I look back now and can't believe what Alan and I experienced together. It was such an embarrassing time or was it all new experiences, I am not sure, yet neither of us even thought about that I think. I did apologize several times to Alan though that he had to witness what my body was doing. It wasn't me though, it was my body, and we both knew this was all part of the process we call childbirth!

The nurses asked me about pain medications, and even though I didn't want anything, I did ask what they had to offer. They suggested morphine and the gas. The morphine had too many risks. I wasn't able to have the gas as they didn't have a portable tank and I needed to be 4cm to go to Labour and Delivery, and no way was I going to be checked again any time soon. That was too much to endure. We waited a bit longer, then they admitted me anyway.

This is when my water broke and stuff was coming out of my body like crazy. I was standing and leaning on the bed, and the nurse suggested I get on the bed. I was on my knees with my head and hands resting on the top part of the bed in an upright position, I still couldn't sit or lie down. Eventually, the urge to push was so strong, and I was check and was 8cm. Within an hour, I went from 3cm to 8cm. I was continuously told not to push, and the noise that came out of me when trying to hold back against a push was unreal. How you can stop yourself from that, I have NO idea. I continued to wait, and fight each urge to push with each contraction, but continued to be sick.

Eventually, I couldn't take holding it back anymore, and was checked again, I was 10cm....so, let's get this show on the road!!!! I stayed on my knees, as I couldn't move. The nurse told me how to push and how to breathe, and I missed it that time. I had no idea what to do. Alan was amazing though.....of course. He told me when to breathe, and to open my legs, bear down and push for the count of 8. Without him, I think I would still be in labour, he was so supportive and did a wonderful job encouraging me, and of course applying very firm pressure to my lower back.

The doctor came in, I pushed, and I felt something, I had to ask what it was, as I couldn't see anything, she informed me it was a head. Then another big push, and I felt this huge gush of something large and watery, bubbly, I am not sure how to describe it. I then asked what that was, and she said that it was the whole body. I was done, we were done, my son was born at 10:45am. I remember asking several times throughout the morning what time it was. I figured I pushed for maybe 30 minutes. A very quick 30 minutes.

At this point, I turned around, saw Alan hand back the scissors from the cord cutting, and held my beautiful son for the first time. I said hello to him, kissed him, and then he peed on me!

I was pretty numb for the next hour or so. I think the exhaustion and the high just hit me. I didn't cry, and didn't express much for emotion. Labour was over, and our son was healthy and in Daddy's arms. I simply just sat and didn't think about much. (Although, Alan informs me, I did call my mom, I don't really remember!!!) I was so pumped with adrenaline, I was shaking. The doctor cleaned me up, and started to examine me, and had to repair a little tear. Funny how I was so scared of tearing. No biggie, you don't know until after you tore, so I don't know why I was so terrified.

Something things I learned/experienced:

1. The pressure on your bum is unreal...I literally reached back and had to feel and asked Alan to see if the baby was coming out of my bum. (Of all the stuff people told me, NO ONE mentioned the pressure on your bum)
2. The power women gain to deliver a baby is phenomenal.
3. I have the greatest husband.
4. I delivered a baby naturally and with NO pain medication.
5. Hypnobirthing is hard to practice in the moment.
6. When at home timing contractions, I knew I was in labour but didn't realize I was having a baby.
7. I am not quiet when delivering a baby. With each moan/grunt, it helped me to push, and was very effective.
8. Being naked is mandatory, and it's true, it doesn't matter at the time who's around.
9. Sutton came on his due date! How odd!
10. The Royal Alex staff were all superb and supportive of our birthing plan, even the last minute changing. Nothing was done without our full comprehension and permission.
11. I am a woman of super strength and power.
12. I have a family, I love it!

Some Timings:

Nov 19, 2:30am - Awoke with contractions
Nov 19, 6:30am - Left home to go to the hospital
Nov 19, 7:00am - Admitted into hospital
Nov 19, 9:00am - Admitted into Labour and Delivery
Nov 19, 10:45am - Sutton was born
Nov 19, 12:00pm - Sent to our room for recovery
Nov 19, 3:00pm - Alan went home to nap and check on Lewis and Kobe
Nov 19, 6:00pm - Danny, Christina, Karl, Janelle, and Maddy came to the hospital to visit
Nov 19, 9:00pm - Alan left again to go home and sleep and be with the pets
Nov 20, 10:00am - Discharged from the hospital
Nov 20, 6:00pm - First home visitors - The Springers, came with a "Birth Day" Cake

The entire experience was surreal. It all happened so quickly, I didn't even have time to rationalize what was happening. At times I think I told Alan I couldn't do it. He told me that I was doing it, and I was doing just fine. I remember afterwards saying that it was easy and wasn't a big deal at all. Now I wonder how I did it, and am terrified to do it again.
Neither Alan nor myself could have imagined it going better than it did. It went better than we planned, and better than we could have hoped for.

One thing I wish I would have done differently, is to go home and rest afterwards. I had a giant burst of energy the first couple days, and nested like crazy. I was out doing errands the day we got home even. My body needed time to heal and recover and I didn't allow that to happen as I should have. I did pay for it though. Here almost 2 weeks later, I am basically all healed up and am feeling well.

Alan and I are parents now, this has been almost 2 years in the waiting, and finally the day came....amazing!!!

Here are some of our first family photos:

This is the position I laboured in.

The second Sutton was born. Alan and I hadn't see him ourselves yet at the point.

Our first "official" family photo.

6lbs, 5oz of pure perfection!

A very proud Daddy holding his son for the first time!

Sutton's first meal.

Our first night together....this was fake, I didn't really sleep!

Getting ready to go home!

All bundled up and ready to go!

I am sure that I left so much out, as the entire process was a whirlwind of events and emotions. I'll update as I remember more.

Meet my Son: Sutton William Bond

2010-11-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

I was going to do a post on Thursday night (Nov 18), but wanted to wait until Friday to update a picture of me at 40 weeks exactly....I didn't ever get the photo of my pregnant belly, but I did get a photo of my son!

Sutton William Bond
Born: Friday, November 19,2010
Time: 10:45am
Weight: 6lbs, 5oz
Length: 18.5"

I am currently typing with 1 hand as I am nursing, so I will share his birth story and our experience at a later date. For now, I will just share some photos!!

Enjoy!

Maternity Photos

2010-11-14T13:13:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the Maternity Photos we had done!
I LOVE them!!!! There were so many to choose from, so it was really hard, here are a few we choose.

A Night at Emerg, and Not for a Baby!

2010-11-11T01:33:00.001-07:00

So, it's been 3 days since I have been on maternity leave now. Busy and lazy days all at once.
Tonight was a doozy though....Alan came home from work at around 10pm, this is when I woke up from my nap. Actually, Kobe had woken me up a little earlier, than I was having some pre-labour cramping. All was fine though, of course I thought I was in labour, but that wasn't the case...as it's usually not.

Anyway, from bed, I asked Alan to put my ring away for me, that's when I went to take it off, and it was stuck. This wasn't anything but new for me. I don't normally wear my rings though because my knuckles are huge and sometimes I loose layers of skin when removing them. (They are sautered together), but I had a lunch date, and wanted to wear them! Good enough reason don't you think?

After trying it wouldn't come off, no way was it coming off. I started freaking out....naturally. Alan and I googled some tips, and we tried, ice, soap, elevating the hand, Windex, etc. I then asked him to cut if off, and he said he didn't have anything here.
He suggested we go to the fire department as it would be better than emerg, at the inter-city hospital (closest). So, we loaded up Kobe (not sure why...) and headed to the fire department. Turns out we didn't know where it was. There was an accident on the road we were travelling on, and I suggested we ask the firemen there where the fire station was, as surely they would know...wouldn't they. Turns out they did. The one guy came across to my side of the car, and felt the ring and my finger and says "That is really stuck, and your finger is really swollen" Ya, no shit! hahaha Good thing, he wasn't too hard to look at. They were wrapping things up on the accident scene, so 2 of them went back to the station, and Alan, Kobe and I followed. We went in, and they tried, literally for an hour to do what they could. They mainly tried the dental floss trick. My finger got worse and worse, and they asked what the "trauma" was from. I guess my finger looked bruised, although it wasn't. The rest of the guys came back, and all agreed that they wouldn't be able to help me, as they couldn't get their tool under the ring and on my skin, so they said I would have to go to the hospital. The entire time I was there, I was shaking, my entire body, and I wasn't cold, I think I was just freaking out a little. Alan was sweet though, he was still in his work clothes, and had his Gerber on him which did help to string the dental floss through, and he rubbed my shoulder the whole time.

So, off to emerg, with a quick back track home to drop Bitey off.

We went to triage, (after both of us going mental trying to find a way into the hospital, at night, in the inter-city, with sick people everywhere. It was really scary!) So, she tells me to have a seat, but also asks if I want my finger looked at. I said no, I just want the damn ring cut off. She then asked about the trauma.....WHAT TRAUMA!!!! So, "Cory" the RN comes over, and looks at it, and doesn't even know if he will be able to get his tool under the ring to cut it off. Eventually he does, and it hurt like a MoFo let me tell you. It was a great opportunity to breathe through the pain and try to relax. hahaha. He cuts out a piece, and then it still doesn't come off, I now have 2 sharp pieces of gold slicing through me, so he cuts another, and nothing. Alan suggests a better place to cut it. By this time, I was so annoyed, and his tool had cut part of my palm as well. So, he does what Alan says, and I am DYING of pain, the ring was slicing into my finger cutting it, and I also had no feeling in my finger. My circulation was getting real low. Then, all of a sudden, my ring is flying across the room, both the wedding and engagement, and the other few pieces cut from it. We gather it all up, and I am good to go. I have a nice size cut on my finger from the sharp edge digging into me, and his tool slicing through my hand as well.

Immediately I felt relief and was so happy, then I cried because my ring is literally destroyed. I am sure it can be fixed....but don't know if I will. After all, I don't have a job anymore, and I don't think it will be cost cheap, and am terrified to ever put it on again! I left the hospital with a biohazard bag of ice, and pee cup with ring remnants in it.

On the way home, I looked at Alan and said "Only me eh?" He agreed!
I still can't bend my finger, it's still swollen, and Alan told me not to try, and of course I want to so much now! I better go to bed. It is times like tonight, when a nice drink would be lovely!!!

Check out the action. I couldn't take any pics of the fire station or the hospital of course, but here is what I did get....

Here I am back in bed, thinking there is no way out of this without cutting off my finger!

Leaving the hospital, the swelling has SIGNIFICANTLY gone down at this point. A side profile pic would make anyone sick, my knuckle is so swollen, and feels like if I pricked it, it would leak fluid.

My precious ring, in 5 pieces....The 3 little pieces are the underneath part of the band, and the other 2 are the engagement and wedding band.

38 Weeks and Waiting...

2010-11-08T16:35:00.002-07:00

Well, 38 weeks, and waiting. Could be today, could be weeks away still. The waiting game is killing me. Today was the first day of my Maternity Leave (I should apply for EI I guess). I woke up at my normal time, as I had my regular weekly appointment. All went well. I hadn't gained any weight, other than a few ounces or something meaningless like that, since last week anyway.
The anticipation really is killing me though. Other than feeling 38 weeks pregnant, I am healthy and feel well. I have a lot of pressure and cramping, and sleeping is a hit and miss activity for me.

I have noticed a lot of changes in my body and constantly think I am in labour. Every new movement, pain or stretch makes me think this is the beginning. And it is, just not REAL labour. Hard when I don't know exactly what to expect. I have been told when it happens, I will know, and I know this, but it still irritates me. Alan is waiting very impatiently too. The other night in bed, he says to me "13 more days until your due date" I had no idea he was counting. Maybe he is just anticipating his week off work! haha He is no longer allowed to work out of town. The overtime would be great as he suprised me earlier in the week by announcing...so casually.... that he bought a new toolbox. I can see him taking the little one on a shop tour and stopping to show him all the new drawers of his box and explaining the tools he loves so much! Alan also commented the other day that I am a lot more happier these days and my mood throughout the pregnancy has been great. He was really suprised that I haven't at all been a raging hormonal bitch. Looks like men also only hear horror stories about pregnant women and childbirth. The next person who tells me their horrible story, I am going to simply tell them to "shut it".

I have decided which photos from our professional shoot I am going to purchase, and will post them as soon as I have them in a digital form.

Here are a couple pics, the most recent anyway, at 38w0d. (Fri, Nov 5th)

Mind the quality though, it seems to Alan that the best way to take a photo is to do it as quick as possible, focusing is optional, as is waiting for the flash to fully go off. I look especially tiny in this pic. Although everyone constantly says I look tiny. I've really only gained belly weight, nothing elsewhere. Which I think is a good thing anyway! I am measuring well though, am healthy and the doctor isn't at all concerned, so all is good!

Perhaps the next blog I do, will contain pictures of my son????

Work...Smurk!!!

2010-10-27T16:49:00.001-06:00

Well, the day I have been anticipating forever is almost here....my last day of work!
Don't get me wrong, I love my job and all, but I also love not working!!!! I also know that these words will bite me in the ass. Because I am "so social" I think it will be very hard for me to be home everyday, but I also know that little Mr. Bond won't allow me anytime to be bored.

The past couple weeks at work have been insane. One Administrator quit 2 Friday's ago, and I have been training my replacement for a number of weeks now. She is doing really well, so I no longer have to sit and watch her work, I can work myself. Our Property Manager is on holidays for 2 weeks, and again, we had 1 woman quit. I really thought my last few weeks were going to be really relaxing and laid back. Crappers, was I wrong! I have worked harder these last couple weeks than I have in the last couple months...combined! hahaha Monday and Tuesday this week I took off. Technically, I called in sick, I didn't really "take it off" and even then, I didn't call in, I BlackBerry Messenged my replacement, and then emailed my boss yesterday afternoon.

Here is me at work, using the vacationers office. I look happy...I'm not....I should be an actress and not a Property Administrator! hahaha (Only 7 working days left now!!!)

I had a weekly prenatal appointment on Monday, and it left me VERY uncomfortable. I had an exam, which I will refuse if they try again this coming Monday. Sore back, sore and swollen hands, sciatic nerve, etc etc. As it turns out, things are progressing nicely, and dialation has even started. Which is normal and expected for just over 36 weeks anyway! More changes have happened since Monday, and I am stil convinced this baby will come early. We should almost make a pool or bet or something, just for fun! I told Alan though this morning, that he cannot go out of town anymore overnight. Not as things are the way they are. Although, I could stay as I am now for weeks, or I could have this baby today! (Although, I hope not!!!!...kinda, as much as I would love to not be pregnant anymore and meet my little man, I also want him to remain in there until 38 weeks at least!!!...I dunno!)

Even though I feel like crap or uncomfortable almost all the time, I am doing well. Still healthy, and thats the important part. I have been nesting like crazy though. Alan has been gone a lot, and I find it the perfect time to actually get things done. And of course to do it my way as well. I FINALLY managed to clean the linen closet. Mildly redecorated the bathroom (more to come). I went to Ikea, bought the Rocking Moose (Horse) and got that built...by myself....and man oh man, was it a beotch to do. I also bought a new computer desk. This was fun. It took me forever to choose, and I got lost in Ikea a couple times, and only partially shed a tear. I selected the perfect desk, and then another shopper helped me into the car with it. I knocked on my neighbours door to help me get it into the house, and he wasn't home, so I had to drag it in myself. Done! Then to set it up! I did just fine! I am actually very good at stuff like this. It's when I am offered help that I freak out and can't do it. I did go back and get the neighbour to help me move the old ugly hutch dressing table crap POS thing out, I dragged as much as I could, but then it got stuck, so I needed help. So, by getting rid of 2...maybe 3 pieces of furniture I was able to make a usable space for the new computer area, as well as free up half our living room for giant baby plastic contraptions!!!!

Please check out our new compluter area!!!

I went to a Silpada Party on Saturday too, it was great fun! Good food too! Now I just have to wait until my necklace and earrings come in.

Sunday we had our Maternity Photo Session done. It was great, and Alan and I actually enjoyed our time together. The photographer was so nice and so understanding, and she loved my shirt and hair! Yay!!!! hahahaha

AND....Congratulations to Elsie, Adam and Ella on their new little family member...Freddie!!! Congrats guys, whats a beautiful family!!!

35 Weeks

2010-10-16T18:05:00.001-06:00

35 Weeks already! Although, these last couple weeks have been really hard on me physically, and I don't see the upcoming weeks becoming an easier, I am thrilled that we are almost done with pregnancy, and about to embark on parenthood!!!

Here I am at 35 Weeks in the babies room!

Our Babies Room is Finished!!!

2010-10-11T10:55:00.003-06:00

Little Mr. Bond's room is finished. We just need a baby now!!

Here are some pics of the process:

I was helping to build the bookshelf.

Here we are, all set up!

This picture shows the wall picture well! The one that I had to fight for! I am so thankful I did!

You can also see the little area rug. We had a hard time finding something suitable that was the perfect size, and that wasn't going to cost hundreds of dollars. This one was the perfect size, colour and texture, and was a steal of a deal!

The dresser/changetable, wall pictures, laundry basket and diaper pail.

The glider/rocker chair! I wanted colourful curtains! And these are perfect. I also love that they don't go to the floor. Alan was hesitant about the colour of course, but I reassured him that they are boy red and not girl red....must have worked!!!! They add a nice splash of colour I think.

The bookshelf. The lighthouse, is Blinky, all my ON friends will know who he is. Alan's parents gave it to us years ago when we were home for the town reunion. The case of books are Alan's Thomas the Tank Engine books from when he was little. He and his uncle made the little case for it! The bear on the bottom left is something I made in ceramics in 1992. And the little double decker bus at the bottom is something we got when this baby went to England for the first time....18 weeks in utero!

Right when you walk into the room there is a little curve to make. This is where we put his inital hooks for his cute hooded towel, sleep sack and I put Alan's booties on there. I couldn't resist, they are so cute! And I have no idea where I will find some for this little guy as they don't make them like they used to!

All the clothes cleaned, folded and organized!!!!! I loved doing this, and I realized we have far more clothes than originally thought!

A view from the other side of the room (standing at the window) showing the closet!!! It looks like we can't opent he closet door, but we actually can.

The bed all made. Aunt Zoe and Uncle Zane gave us the lamb, he makes sounds. And this is Alan's little Kirby from when he was little. I still haven't been able to find the perfect lovey for this little guy yet. I am constantly looking though!

What a Mover & a Shaker!

2010-10-08T19:09:00.003-06:00

Look at this little guy move!!! It was a miracle I caught it on video actually. He was moving like crazy, and I figured I would try to grab a video, and he did it once more right away to this extent.
It's moments like this that I think I will miss. As I have expressed before I don't particularly love being pregnant as some women do. But these signs of live MY SON shows make those hard days all that much better!!!!

I am definately ready to have this baby. Of course at 34 weeks I would like to wait a couple weeks at least just so he is big enough and his lungs are fully developed.

Check out the video. The best part is within the first 15 seconds or so. I held the camera quite still, and you can see the slight up and down movements of me breathing. The movements that you can see the best are the right to left ones, and again the best part is within the first 10-15 seconds.

I am all Showered!!!

2010-10-04T19:01:00.002-06:00

This past weekend was SO busy!!!! Friday night, I got home from work, after almost being rear ended by some asshole who shouldn't even be allowed to have a license, only to get home, give pup a kiss then head off to the hockey game with Alan, Danny and Christina. Great night out!

Saturday, I got up early, did some errands, came home, showered, attended my baby shower, then went home to bed.

Sunday, I was up early again, went out with Alan, bought a crib, stroller, tub and some misc items, came home, showered, back to Babies R Us for a crib mattress, then went to a birthday paty for a 1 year old, then to our last HypnoBirthing class. We got home, did a quick power clean of the house, and then I colloapsed in my bed, and woke up this morning!!!

Wow!!!!!

The Baby Shower was GREAT!!! I am so thankful to Steph for hosting it for me. There were a few special people missing in attendance, but everyone who came were all very good friends, and it was great to see everyone all at once. And of course to celebrate the coming of little Youngblood!!

Steph's decorations were amazing too. Instead of the usual streamers etc, she had little clothes and socks and such spread around the houue, and hanging off the walls. The cake was outstanding. I think that she had Buddy from Cake Boss do it, it was just that good!

We played some good games, where we had to match the celebrity names with the baby names. The other game was baby trivia. For example...Do you know how many bones a baby has when born......300, compared to our 209. Apparently, they have more because they fuse together! And, the largest baby ever born naturally was 22lbs. OMG!!!! At the door, the wonderful co-host (Caitlin) was in charge of getting everyones guess for the amount of M&M's in the sippy cup! I was way off on this one!!!

Caitlin also did an excellent job of decorating the driveway in sidewalk chalk. She had an area for me to park that indicated it was my spot, and all others would be towed. The other half of the driveway was decorated in sidewalk chalk as well, welcoming me with a very colourful version of my name, and she had drawn pictures of balloons.

I LOVED that friends and family from out of province also sent giftd and cards to the hosts house for the shower. I was so suprised actually. It was so meaningful and I felt to loved that they cared enough to do so, and to plan it all! I was definately touched!!!! Thanks guys!

Everyone who wasn't able to attend the shower has been asking me what we did and what I received as gifts. (I even brought the truck instead of the car so that I could transport all the loot home with me!!! hahaha)
We receieved so many wonderful gifts, so this is going to be hard to recap it all:

- Glider/Rocker Chair wioth Ottoman

- Excersaucer

- Swing

- Floor Play thing

- Several Blankets....even a knitted homeade one from my friend Andrea, so thoughtful, I love it!!!
- Clothing
- Sippy Cups / Spoons, etc.
- Several Toys

- Gift Cards (Babies R Us, Walmart, The Bay)

- Cloth Diaper / Wipes

- Towels / Face Cloths
- Changetable Pad
- Misc TML attire
- Books

And of course I have received several other things throughout my pregnancy from several different people. I also had the shower with my sisters and Mom. I could go and grab the items and grab pics of them, but really I couldn't be bothered at the moment, as the wall paint is still drying, and I don't want the pets going in, plus I am exhausted!!!!

Here are some pictures!!!

The drive way when I pulled up!

The front door!

The amazingly done cake!

The set up of the livingroom, that is the glider/rocker that the Springers got for me!

Guessing the amount of M&M's in the sippy cup. My guess....146, actual answer...200.

Playing one of the games!

Gift opening! (Notice the decorations on the wall!)

What a cute little toy!

The Lovin' Hug Swing from Lindsay and Cory!!!

The cake with me, the host Steph and the co-host Caitlin!

The aftermath of the cake!

Me with the balloons!!!

Some clothes I received.

Blankets and such!

Stuff for bums and mouths!

Books and toys!!!!

The large items!

This is the room before the painting.

This is the room after the painting, and after the building of furniture! I love how the colour turned out! Very warm, and exactly the colour of "neutral" that we were looking for!

The crib, all built and ready for a baby!

The chair from the Springers! Not sure yet if this will be the placement of it.

The dresser/changetable.

Empowered!!!

2010-09-26T22:06:00.001-06:00

I went alone to the HypnoBirthing course tonight as Alan is out of town. I wish he could have been there as we did the birthing plans. Actually, it was a hand out and we just check off things we do or don't want. If anyone wants a copy let me know, and I will scan and email it to you!
This class was really empowering and I am ready to do this. I can honestly say that I am no longer scared or nervous to give birth. I think I will always fear any "special circumstances" (emergencies) that can arise, but this is normal I am sure. I am ready for a natural childbirth though.
If you have any questions on what Hypnobirthing is or what it entails, please ask me. The desciptions online can be vague and seem very new age, and really is just about knowing our body and what to expect, and how to relax to let your body do as it is naturally designed to do so!!!

Advice/Opinions/Comments I Have Received!!!

2010-09-22T11:56:00.001-06:00

Well all give and get advice from time to time, and sometimes the advice is great and worthy, and at other times, you just want to punch the person who said it in the face.

Here is some of the "advice" or opinions or anecdotes I have been given in the last 8 months or so. My Ideas are in brackets beside!!!

1. Good luck cloth diapering, you will be covered in shit. (Yes, well, I can't wait to take a poo filled diaper and rub is all over my arms, legs and chest, you idiot!)
2. You are taking grocery store brand prenatals??? (Will this kill my baby?)
3. You're not going to an ob/gyn...good luck. (They are SURGEONS, why do I need a surgeon?)
4. No baby in the bed with you, you'll have your work cut out for you. (Um...WHAT?????)
5. A natural childbirth, you will never be able to do this without pain medication (Right, because I am the 1st woman EVER to want a natural childbirth)
6. Let me pick a name for you. (What, are you INSANE????)
7. Your crotch is going to burn, its the worst feeling ever. (I would imagine my crotch on fire is painful yes.)
8. Listen to my horrible labour story. (Why would I want to hear that?)
9. Will you keep the placenta? (Oh yes, most definitely, I have a nice place on my mantel all picked out already..WTF???)
10. Just make sure to choose a good name (Because, you thought I would choose a horrible name?)
11. You don't understand because you aren't a mother. (Apparently only genius' have children then????)
12. You don't know what its like to support people financially. (Oh right, at the age of 28 with a job, a car, a house, etc etc etc...I have no idea the value of a dollar)
13. You aren't sleeping well because the baby is preparing you for never sleeping again. (Okay, so really, parents go months straight with NO sleep, sure they do.)
14. It's going to be so hard for you, such an adjustment (Ya, well, no shit asshole, but lets not forget that I married an amazing man, who is anticipating this baby as much as I am.)
15. Oh wow, how did that happen? (I had unprotected sex days prior to ovulation, you idiot)
16. How are you feeling? (My reaction varies depending on who asks this)
17. Can I touch your belly? (Says the stranger in the Subway Sandwhich line up)
18. Oh, look at you all preggers! (I HATE the word preggers, I actually even prefer to be called knocked up over preggers, and yes, I am aware of how I look!)

There are many more of course, but the one that pisses me off the most are when people tell me that I don't have a clue on things "because I am not a mother" Being a mother doesn't make you a GOOD mother, it simply only alerts the world that sometimes idiots (usually the people who say this) can have kids too...and they do!!! Why do people say that? Why can I not have an opinion on something, or know something because I don't have my own children. I have spent years around kids, and of course used to be one. Also, I can say that certain products on the market are crap, and simply ways to make money, don't we all as consumers have the right to have an opinion on something that is available for sale????

For example: At a store one day, I laughed and shook my head, the saleswoman looked at me, and asked what was funny. I said that I was shocked that someone would make this, and then think that people would buy it. Please see below: (It's a little tent you put over the penis when changing the baby, so you don't get sprayed.) She said to me, that if I was having a boy, it would come in very useful. Ya, sure it would!!!

There are of course many people who say great things to pregnant women, or hold open the door at the mall, offer you a hand when reaching something from up high, let you in front of them in the bathroom, all these great wonderful things. Those moments I love and appreciate in people, its the rude and clueless ones that piss me off!!!

Please share other ridiculous things you have heard when pregnant.

Seriously Baby.....I'm Your Mother, And I Say NO!!!

2010-09-21T16:40:00.001-06:00

Seriously, this baby is trying to escape. Well, I am sure that he really isn't, but it sure feels that way! A couple weeks ago, I noticed that the movements were very different and I think it is just because he is getting so big. Then about a week ago, I felt a tightening in my belly area, and wasn't sure if it was "Braxton Hicks" contractions or not. In my course we call it "Practice Labour." We actually use a lot of different wording in the class. It's all a mind set, and I think it does help.
Anyway, the class was great, and I definitely am experiencing practice labour. It is really interesting that my body does this. Everyday it amazes me more and more, that the female human body was designed to give birth. Your body knows exactly what to do, and when to do it. I can't even describe the feeling of these practice surges, but it basically feels as I guess it should. My uterine muscles contracting. It seems like all day I have been having them. More so than not anyway. I am scared that he wants out, but I also know that this is normal and it is my body preparing for labour. I also sometimes feel pressure on my cervix area, this I assume is normal as well. Startles me everytime though.
We learn a lot about the body in the HypnoBirthing classes, and as a result, I am ready for whatever is going to happen and no longer look at childbirth as the scariest event I will ever go through....well, today, at this moment that's how I feel, tomorrow or later this evening could be a completely different story. But, that's a good start that I only sometimes freak out now! haha Actually in the class this past Sunday, I was so pumped I wanted to have the baby that night. I told everyone it was "Now or Never" at which point, Alan almost died of embarrassment. hahaha I also shocked him when I asked her how I knew I was in labour and ready to go to the hospital. I know though, that I did all the other first timers a favour as well! haha. It was previously mentioned that we wait to go to the hospital/birthing centre, wherever, until we are basically ready to deliver. Well, how do I know. I mean, I may think I am 10cm dilated, but really only be 2cm. And I wouldn't want to go to the hospital, just to get sent home again. Here is the kicker though.....I think that I only just realized that when you are "checked" it is not a visual inspection, but a vaginal exam. They feel your cervix to measure (fingers not rulers). So, that brought me to another questions....can our husbands do this or can we do it ourselves, etc. She said yes, it is perfectly possible, and accurate. I will have to google this later on! haha Anyway, we learned about how to hear our body and to understand the signs of approaching delivery. When to stay home, and when to get in the car, we also learned when not to get in the car! I think I learnt more on Sunday about childbirth, than I have in my entire 28 years. I just hope that Alan took notes!

On a side note...I am still feeling, well, pregnant! I technically have just over 8 weeks to go. I also have only 32 working days left as well! A replacement for me has been hired, and she seems perfect for the job. She starts on Monday, and I look forward to fully meeting her, and of course training her. I think she will pick up quickly, and be able to figure things out! Yay!!!!

Alan is gone now for an unknown amount of days, and in that time, I will try to do some nesting.....(am I suppose to dread it, or look forward to it? hahaha) I need to organize and clean out the linen closet. I also have to clean the construction mess from the window install, and then Steph will paint the room, hopefully next week when she is back from Mexico. I am so jealous I am not there as well.

My shower is coming up too! I can't wait. It has been months on the planning, and I can't believe the time is finally approaching.

Oh...and people are still convinced I am small. Seriously, everyone I see says I am so small for the amount of weeks that I am. I always reply that I don't feel small at all. In fact, I feel massive, and I always feel so full, and bloated. I hate eating supper, because I feel like crap afterwards, and usually puke it up anyway. I also feel like I constantly have to pee. I did go to the mall this weekend though, and didn't cry because the bathroom line up was too long. It didn't prove effective last time! I think that because it is my first that I am smaller than some. Also, I am not cramming my face every second I get, so I haven't really gained a ton of weight elsewhere. (Yay yay yay!!!!!) I also figure that because my torso is long in comparison to my legs that my belly is stretched longways, rather than straight out. I have no idea. Maybe I should take it as a compliment. But it always comes off as an insult.

And another cute comic!!!!

(Do I really need his permission for use????,

if anything I am letting people know about him and his fantastic comics!!!!)

30 Weeks!!!

2010-09-14T09:43:00.001-06:00

Here I am at 30 weeks along! (Taken on Fri, Sept 10, 2010).

I had my regular appointment just yesterday, and am now going every 2 weeks! The baby's heartbeat was 140bpm. Funny how as soon as she brings the Doppler towards me, we can already hear it. The first few times when we heard it at 10 weeks or so, it took a couple minutes to find it. His movements have also changed a lot. He is just getting so big, and seems to be stretching alot more now, and less room to do it.

For the most part I am feeling well. People always ask me how I am feeling, and the only thing I can really say is that I feel pregnant. I am tired more now than I was in my early weeks of pregnancy. My back is less sore now, but my sciatica nerve is worse then it was. I still puke or dry heave almost daily, and I constantly feel full. I feel like I am going to explode some days. But all in all, I would say I feel good for the most part, as good as I can anyway.

I stole this saying from a friends blog, I thought it was fitting. "It seems to me that being pregnant is like being young: You can't appreciate how awesome it is while you are in the midst of it."

The HypnoBirthing classes are going well. We have had 2 classes so far, and have another 4 more to go. I can say that I have taught myself to be able to relax into a deep state. Something I never thought I would be able to do.

Today is a big day. I am at home right now, listening to the window installers, smash away at the old window. We are getting a new window is the baby's room today. After they leave, I have to hurry to the southside and write my Law and Risk Management exam. I am terrified I am going to fail. Some things I know really really well, and for other parts, I have NO idea. I did the practice exams, and Alan helped me, but it seems as though I don't understand the questions. Very confusing. If I do fail, then I simply just pay to write again. Of course though, I will have to go to my employer and tell him that I failed.....that will be embarrassing!

I did get to sit in on a couple interviews last week for my position. That was neat. The one woman was INSANE!!! Like, actually insane, and the other couple I liked, and thought they would be great for the job. Just another 8 weeks or so, and I am officially on Maternity Leave. OMG, I get to take Maternity Leave, and then almost a year of Parental Leave!!! Wow!!!

I love the shadow in this picture!

Celebrate with CANDY!!!

2010-09-10T16:54:00.001-06:00

Today marks 30 weeks! Wow! I know I say it all the time..but seriously, where has the time gone? 10 weeks left until my due date! Good thing Alan bought the car seat today!!! Yay!!

I have an appointment on Monday, and I haven't actually weighed myself for about a month now. Today alone, I ate a pack of Fruitella, a Pepsi, 4 packs of Popeys Smokes..I mean Candy Sticks, and an entire pack of Sweetarts. And this of course, was only the snacks. If we include meals, add in a bagel with extra butter and pasta baked with cheese! hahaha

I have warned everyone in the office that if I collapse or start seizing, it is just a sugar overload! haha

Too Cold To Come Out To Play

2010-09-07T19:46:00.001-06:00

Little SWB has been moving around very differently lately. I don't yet know what he is doing. Earlier today I thought he was trying to escape. I reminded him it was too cold for him out in the non amniotic world. Seemed to work, he settled down shortly thereafter. However, at that time when I thought he was trying to escape, I was dry heaving a puking into the bathroom sink. Maybe it was too much strain on my abdomen.

We did the Hypnobirthing class on Sunday, and I think we both enjoyed it. Alan wasn't too alarmed, and no babies or goats were sacrificed around a fire, and no blood was drank either. It really wasn't too meditative for us. Read up on what exactly it is or read my previous entry for the class description. We learned a couple simple breathing exercises, and we learned to relax a bit. Kinda yoga-like, but just sitting and not being in a downward dog or some ridiculous body movement. We did an exercise where we had to imagine ourselves in a kitchen, feel the heat of the oven, grab a cutting board, feel the lemon....yada yada yada, and eventually we had to bite into the lemon. Well, aside from freaking out (calmly) because I couldn't imagine a kitchen, I did feel my mouth water when biting into the lemon. No, seriously, it took me forever to choose a kitchen, I initally walked into mine, then screamed and ran (dishwasher is having issues, and LAST NIGHTS dishes are everywhere), then I was in Alan's parents, back to mine, and then in an imaginary one. Aside from that, it was good. I have to practice the breathing this week and listen to the CD as well.
Alan and I did learn lots though, and it seems like it will be great. I understand what it is, and why it is important. I have to remember the "Fear, Tension, Pain" drawing. And of course, actually apply it. We learnt about the uterine muscles and how they work when in a "surge" and how to help the muscles work properly so not to delay labour.
We also got to watch a few quick deliveries where the women practiced Hypnobirthing. I was amazed that Alan didn't puke or faint, and generally didn't seem disturbed. He commented on the fact that I missed most of the video as I was watching him.
Alan and I cracked a lot of jokes, and laughed alot. It was fun for us.

He is working like a crazy man now, so I hope he can make the next one. It really wouldn't be a date night without him.

AND...without further adieu, here are the most recent photos I have (taken minutes ago). I wish Alan was here so he could have taken them better, but with the self timer (which is my normal way of doing it anyway) it may have been better to see a side by side, and of course, I couldn't figure out the side by side!

The bare belly with Bitey-Pup too!

Ah crap, I forgot to use all small letters, looks like I forgot about my new blogging style! hahaha

deal with my being different...and pissed off-ish-ness!

2010-09-02T10:15:00.001-06:00

new look to my blog....sans capitals!!! i am writing more like i do in personal emails, so the thoughts might be more random, graphic, rude and grammatically incorrect!

i feel much different this week than i did last week.
i don't know if the baby is moving differently or if perhaps i am having braxton hicks contractions. which according to alan...don't exist. neither do fetal hiccups. remember, i know nothing, and make up almost everything i think or say. hahaha wasn't he overhearing the trash woman talk at the clinic about hiccups? sometimes trash women actually know stuff as well, not just his beautiful amazing wife!!!

zoe comes this weekend, i can't wait. we plan on going to the market, going to thyme, and eating fresh fruits and veg. that's the plan thus far!

we met with the doula the other night, and we really like her. i think she will be great to have there at the hospital and at home beforehand if time allows. she asked us both millions of questions, and i cried the most part of the sessions. just little tears though, not actually sobbing. she probably thinks i am completely insane, and if that's the case, her thoughts aren't too far off! haha

i signed us up for pre-natal classes.....kinda!!! a few people have recommended that i read the book "hypnobirthing" as it helped their labour immensely. so, i read some reviews on it (apparently, that's not the same as reading the book), and talked about it with my doula. she said that there are classes as well on it. so, the other night, i signed us up. i wonder now if i made a huge mistake!!! here is the class description :

Practicing Hypnobirthing® will improve your body's ability to have its perfect birth "
Your body, without any fear, will give birth without excessive pain. Fear present during birth causes tension in the body, which deprives the uterine muscles of oxygen and causes a tightening of the muscles that close the cervix. Dr. Grantly Dick-Read, an obstetrician in the 20th Century, coined this process as the 'fear-tension-pain' syndrome typical of modern childbirth. This 'fear-tension-pain' process is unnecessary and is not your bodies natural way to give birth.
HypnoBirthing® teaches women techniques to deal with their fears and stop the 'fear-tension-pain' cycle by training the body to release tension. Unnecessary pain is avoided and birth is experienced in a relaxed and natural way.

Hypnobirthing® is a full child birth education class and as such, we cover all topics necessary to help you through your pregnancy, labour and postpartum times.
Some topics that we will be covering include:

- What Happened to Birth?
- Your Changing Body
- Preparing your Body & Mind for Birth
- Fear Release & Birthing Affirmations
- Pre-birth Parenting
- Selecting your Caregivers & Birthing Environment
- Your Body: Perfectly Designed for Birth
- Techniques for Achieving Your Gentle & Relaxed Birth
- Breastfeeding
- Postpartum Needs & Care
- Community Resources & Support

in theory it sounds like it will be very informative, and help me to release my fears of a human being removed from my body through my crotch, but i also fear that it might be a little bit new age. i really hope that both alan and i enjoy it, and don't drive home sunday thinking we wasted so much money and have to endure another 5 weeks of it. its on sundays from 6pm until 8pm for 6 weeks i think. as long as there isn't a huge focus on meditation, etc, then all should be good! and because our doula is a huge supporter of hypnobirthing, then it will be even more beneficial!

monday night, we pretty much bought a car, and then unbought a car. we backed out at the last minute. i really didn't feel right about it. and we got sucked into the standard routine from a used car salesman.
there were times when i could barely breathe, i felt so much stress, and i could feel my son was stressed out as well!!!! it wasn't good. i was all tight and tense and couldn't focus on anything. i can't imagine being one of those unfortunate people who are always stressed out.
he (used car douche) even mentioned several times about his lung cancer he has had twice. okay seriously, i don't care. for several reasons....a) i SAW you smoking, you later denied you were smoking (liar) b) we don't know you, c) you are so wormy and d) your perv stash is freaking me out. that's right alex! fuck you!!!!! he really pissed me off yesterday when i called him to say we weren't going through with it. well, minutes after i hung up, he called alan. did he not see during our meeting, that i am the more dominate one when it comes to negotiating deals, deciding things, etc. why talk to alan? "alex" should have known alan would say he would call me to discuss.
when alan told me about this, i freaked out, and instantly called alex and nicely gave him a piece of my mind. he then said to me that he only called alan to let him know that he was calling him for a reason?? wtf??? do we look stupid? clearly we aren't because we didn't take the crap deal he was willing to offer us!n so ya, it's official, i hate alex the used car salesman!

3 other people are pissing me off now too. 2 i can ignore, 1 i cannot. i fear i will loose it on the one i can't ignore. the other 2, well, frankly, i don't even know why i'm so irritated by them, after all, things haven't changed, just always stayed the same between them and i. why is everyone pissing me off????
whatever. everything seems to irritate me these days, so i am deciding it is purely pregnancy related, and i have the right to be pissed off and irritated at people. but, i warn you all, tread lightly because i am a volcano waiting to erupt, and throw and puke on, scalding hot lava, with precise accuracy and distance!

and to top it off, while driving to work this am, i was puking into a bag...while driving. sometimes, i just can't pull over when necessary!

here is a fuzzy bad quality pic of my cat who also looks somewhat pissed off and doesn't care what we think, he is laying in the stove because he loves to. deal with it!!!

have a good day y'all., from lewis and myself!

Meet my Baby Boy....Electronically!!!!

2010-08-31T13:43:00.001-06:00

This past weekend was GREAT!!! So much happened, even though it was a pretty relaxed weekend!
Friday night, I can't even remember, but Saturday morning, I went to St. Albert to the market, where I got a car seat cover for winter, a hooded towel, 2 huge receiving blankets, and a sleep sack! I got exactly what I went for, and then some more too! Shortly after getting home, Steph came over to check out the stuff I have bought BBB (baby boy Bond) so far. I loved opening all the drawers and basically showing off all the diapers, clothes, and other miscellaneous items!! Such a moment of pride, I can't believe that in a matter of weeks (well, 11) I will be showing off my baby!!!! Then, Alan came home from fishing and we went to the 3D Ultrasound. Following this beautiful sight, we went for dinner with the Springers, and as soon as we got home, Alan went to bed, as he wasn't feeling well. I spent the night watching TV, and waking Alan up to see how he felt! Sunday morning, we lazed around a bit, and then went to the West Edmonton Mall, along with the rest of Edmonton. It was so busy, I was going crazy, but it is back to school shopping. Other than lunch and frozen yogurt (of course) I got 2 clips for my Pandora bracelet to keep my charms where I want them. After the mall, we went to Babies R Us and chose the crib, stroller and car seat! All ready to go there. I am so glad Alan was there, as it is impossible for me to make huge decisions like that myself.

Now for the super exciting news......the 3D Ultrasound has come and gone, and I am still in awe over it. All of our parents, my sisters and a friend had the luxury of being able to view the ultrasound live online, and I was so happy they all could. Steph and Cait came along with Alan and I, and they enjoyed it as well!

It is confirmed, he is a HE! (My dreams proved me wrong again!!!)

So, here are some pics from the ultrasound!!!!

Moving around a little bit!!

Still relaxing with his little hand close by!

It's a BOY!!! (The tech actually said he had a long penis, we all laughed so hard!!!)

A little foot and toes!!!

Still sleeping!

(Look at his bicep!!!)

He opened his eyes to look back at us!!!!

Is that a smile?

This is where I shed my first tear! He is sucking his thumb...it was so sweet, and he is so human like (of course) it is still shocking though to know that he is Alan and my son!

All snuggled up using his arm and my belly as a pillow!

After playing with his cord, he decided he was tired and needed yet another nap! (Another tearful moment for me!!!)

Folded in half!

It was so amazing to see, and I loved looking over at Alan and seeing him smile and look interestingly on at the screens!

The tech said that everything looked good (she isn't a radiologist though of course). She estimates him to be fairly tall. She said that he looked very much like his Dad but with my nose. She also said he has a little bit of fine hair on his head, and has nice full lips! I can't wait to kiss him. He will probably stay in the position he is in now, as he is getting too big (approx 3lbs) and there isn't enough room for him to move around much).

It's amazing how much you can love someone without ever meeting them or knowing them yet. I want to hug him so tight, and kiss every part of his face over and over again! I want to hold him, and love him, and kiss him! AND....I think he wants me to hold him!These are going to be a long 11 weeks ahead of me!!!

GDS...To Skip or Not to Skip???

2010-08-24T11:53:00.001-06:00

Man-oh-man, did I ever screw this up! You know when someone says to get a test done in a few weeks, well, those weeks have come and gone and I didn't get around to getting the testing done.
From what I understood when I was first given the blood req forms, was that I had to have blood work done to confirm my blood type for my WinRo shot. And I had to have the Gestational Diabetes Test done at the Perinatal Clinic a week after that, or a week after the WinRo blood work, I forget exactly.
I go yesterday before my pre-natal appointment to get the blood work done at the lab in the clinic I am already in. I decide to look at my form...it states on it "Nothing to eat, drink, smoke or chew 3 hours before." Okay so, skip that test for today.
I see my doctor, she asks me about it, and I tell her that I don't really understand what I am suppose to do. She then tells me to do a 3 hour fast and get blood work, and they then I will be called to be informed as to where and when I go next to drink the orange crap.
So, this morning, I fast and go to the clinic again, the girl at the counter states that I have to wait an hour there after drinking the orange crap. WTF??? I thought I was only getting blood work done first?
I run upstairs to my pre-natal clinic to get the booking girl to explain it all to me. Again, I am now on a 3rd explanation and it is different from the first one SHE gave me, the doctor and the lab girl. I have since called the DynaLife Lab people to make an appointment, and I can't get in anywhere by appointment at 7am. I do still have to make it to work at 8:30am. I can go as a walk in, but "apparently" they need to prepare the drink.

I am thinking maybe I will just skip the testing. I am not sure I can though as I also have to have blood work done to test for syphilis. Which I guess is routine testing done 3 times throughout your pregnancy. It just doesn't seem to be able to work out for me time wise. That or I am too lazy really! And just annoyed and irritated!!!
And I also hear that this test is brutal, being made to chug this orange crap in seconds, and then sit there with a full bladder for 1 hour.
Can I skip the testing though?? Do I have to have it? I have opted out of other tests and medical care which was recommended I get. Chances are I do not have GD as I get my sugar tested through my urine at every appointment right? I am not overweight, etc etc etc. However, my mom is diabetic and my older sister had GD with her last pregnancy. So, does that mean I am at a higher risk of having it???

I did find one place that opens tomorrow morning at 7:30, and I might have to a wait about 15 mins to actually get in, so if I do have to wait, then I will be late for work. Actually, I will be late regardless as I have to sit there for 1 hour, and then get to work, luckily it's only a couple blocks away!

THE Room is Started!!!

2010-08-23T21:56:00.001-06:00

Last night Alan decided it would be a great idea to move the spare room into the den. I of course went along with it, as I have wanted this done for a number of months now. So, we got it all moved and organized. It looks great, we just need to move the blinds, curtains and wall pictures still. Then the spare room is complete in its new location.

We also built the dresser/changetable for the babies room. Alan did the bulk of it, and I did the drawers, and Alan only had to fix a couple of the wheel things that I apparently put on the wrong side. We also started attacking the closet with full force. So much stuff, most of which we threw out, as it was crap we had accumulated for years and never did anything with. After setting up the dresser and cleaning the room out, I put everything we have for the baby in the drawers. The top drawer is FULL of diapers!!!!! So many cute things, I even kissed the little dog I bought in the States. I love it so much, it's so cute!!!!!!

By the time the night was over, I was beat. A day filled with lunch with friends, a trip to Costco, laundry, dresser building, more laundry, closet cleaning, and of course more laundry, means my bed was looking pretty fine! I finally get into bed, and little boy Bond decided it is time to play. I call Alan in to the room to see my tummy moving, and we both just watched it and laughed. I then took a video. Check it out. The quality isn't great as it was on my phone, so I will explain. The giant blob is my tummy, and the gaping hole is my bellybutton. My breathing is easy to see as it is regular, but you can really see the punches and kicks.

I didn't go to work today as my back and sciatic nerve are killing me. I think too much activity yesterday! I did manage to get out and go to HomeSense today as Alan said walking around would be good for me. I am sure he didn't mean for me to go to HomeSense and go shopping, but, he should have known that's what I would do! hahaha

Anyway, I have given up on finding "the perfect" nursey decor, and decided to find a picture I loved and then work from there. Well, today...I found that picture! It was quite the drama, as I grabbed it and took it to the next aisle to really look at it, think about it, and inspect it. This woman comes up and asks me if I am getting it. I tell her that I think I am. She then pressures me telling me that she had brought her son to the store, as she wanted to get it. Then she calls him over, and he says he likes it, and she clearly wants him to say that he has to have it, and then rip it out of my hand. THEN....his daughter comes over and grabs the side of it. The woman asks me again if I am getting it, even though if by the laws of "First Come, First Serve" I clearly am the winner. I mean, there was no one around when I picked it up and practically put it in my cart. I then feel bad that they want it to, but you know, I figured that if I didn't get it now, then I would loose my chance. And then decide that I am buying it, and if I change my mind it doesn't matter, as I can just get my money back. But leaving the store without it, means its gone! AND...it is exactly the type of picture I was looking for too! Eventually I came to my senses and thought screw her, grabbed it and pretty much ran away. Then I kept seeing her, and it was so big I couldn't even get it in the cart so I had to carry it around. I am glad I stood my ground though and screwed them over. It made me smile that I got what I wanted....and fairly too! PLUS...it was on clearance!!!

The theme now for the babies room is...well, it's....you know....it's.....okay, so there isn't a theme, but I guess if I had to choose one then I would say it is colours!!!!

I also bought a lamp, 3 more wall pictures, an adorable pillow, and wall hooks for all 3 initials. Although, in the picture, you can only see the middle and last initial as I turned the first around!!!! Sorry guys!!!! I think that I will try to find curtains or the bedding that is red. I'd like something in orange and green still as well!!!! My hunt is on!!! The had really cute mini table and chairs as well, although that isn't necessary at this point. Steph had picked up a stick-on wall decal the other day so I can't wait to see that!!! You can't see the dresser/changetable in the picture, so I will wait until later to update that picture when I have more. The window will be installed in about 3 weeks, then painting, then all the fun decorating stuff can really begin!!! And then a couple weeks after that is my shower!!! I can't wait!

Where does the time go?

2010-08-17T13:17:00.001-06:00

Another post in just 2 days....I hope I am not causing anyone too much shock!!!

Things in regards to the pregnancy are going really well. At the end of the month I have the 4D ultrasound, as well as my WinRo shot because of my negative blood type, or is it positive, I seriously forget. I just know when and where I have to go to get it. My next test after that will be for gestational diabestes. I hope that goes well! This is my last monthly appointment, and then I am going every 2 weeks to see my prenatal doctor...well, 1 of 11.

Today I am 26 weeks and 4 days! Getting very close to my 3rd trimester. The home stretch is coming so soon now! I never thought I would be at this point. I would look at people at my Yoga class (also known as the worst 90 minutes of my week) who were 25-30 weeks, and wondered what I would look like at that point, and how I would feel. I am having a lot of back pains and sciatic nerves problems, but am getting through it. Last week it was so bad that I told Alan I was done with this pregnancy and that I give up. I also said that this little boy would be an only child. We will see if those words prove to be wrong later on!
To help with the back pains, I have a hot water pack, new shoes and am trying to get a monthly massage. Oh, and I bought a new Lulu Lemon wrap...just because it makes me happy! I miss my hoodies so much!

I have gotton in contact with a Doula. My massage therapist has a client who does this, and passed me her number, as this is something I am very interested in for a number of reasons. I have a very close friend who is a Doula as well, and she has offered her services. However, I am leary about how I might treat her at that time, I always seem to think that having someone I know there will be rough as I might be mean to them, but I also know that those I love, and especially her will not take offense to it, and will probably even find it funny! I know what she will provide me with the comfort and insanity I will likely appreciate at the stressful time of removing a human baby from my body through my crotch!!!!! Because, word on the street has it that when going through childbirth, that is seriously what is going to happen! OMG!!!

I also know that it will be so hard for her to coordinate her being here for the birth as she lives in Ontario and a 4 hour plane ride at very short notice will be a challenge. I really don't know what to do. I am stuck as to what decisions to make. What if I got into labout early, and she isn't here, or she has taken a week off work to be with me, and I am late, and she ends up having to leave before the baby is born? This is why I feel someone local might be my best option. We will see. I am going to meet her tomorrow and see how we get along, and what she believes in and if we are on the same page when it comes to a birth plan. (Which, apparently, according to my book, I should be thinking about....) OMG AGIAN!!!!

And for photos!!!!

25w1d (Underwater)

25w1d - Floating. I had this same picture at 17 weeks I think (When in England)

And the most recent where I am at 26w0d.

(Taken on Aug 13, 2010)

Girls Girl Girls!!!

2010-08-16T09:32:00.000-06:00

Last weekend I spent around 4 days with my Mom and 2 sisters. Something I rarely do as I live so far away from them all.

I flew in on Thursday night at 11:30pm into Toronto. From the airport I went straight to the hotel where they had thrown me a suprise baby shower! Even though, I was so tired, and stuffy from the plane, it was a lot of fun, and I got some great gifts. Aside from baby stuff Christine got me a Pandora Carriage Charm, and Brittany got me a Pandora Hedgehog Charm. I love them! I had a grand total of 3 charms at this point.

The next morning we got up, had a crapola breakfast, and then headed to Buffalo, New York. the border crossing was really quick, and cool as we had the top down in the convertable. Both Brittany and I were freaking out, as we hate the top down feature!

We checked into our mediocre hotel, and instantly started shopping. The next couple days consisted of more shopping and eating and pedicures!

I did buy a cute baby outfit, a sweater and a Coach Clutch, which I LOVE!!!!

We threw Christine a suprise baby shower in the Pandora store. We all pitched in and bought her a bracelet, and then we all bought the same charm, so, now I have 4. I love the charm we all bought, it is a great memory from the mini vacation. Oh, and Christine bought the hedgehog charm as well, so we also all have that one!

Sunday, we packed up and left, and headed back to Canada. Again, the border crossing was very quick. I got into the airport with much time to spare, so I decided that have a chair massage, which I think was the best massage I have ever had, followed by an ice cream. The fligth back was so uncomfortable. I really don't think I can fly again during this pregnancy, unless of course there was an emergency.

All in all the weekend was great. We did gang up on eachother a bit, as families do, but I think we all know that it can be easier to poke fun, then it can be to show love!

Here are some pictures of the trip!

Us Sisters sitting on the back of the convertable!

(Christine (oldest), Brittany (youngest), Me (middle))

Us in our Baboushkas!

The suprise shower we threw Christine at the Pandora store.

The noodles we bought for the pool that we had to walk around with at the mall all day!

Us 3 girls in the pool...with our noodles!!!

This underwater shot took many attempts to have a half decent one!

All 4 of us on our last day together!

My Body, My Wonderful Body

2010-08-03T16:27:00.001-06:00

I've said before that women's bodies are truly amazing, and here I am experiencing this in MY OWN body, everyday!
Everyday, several times a day I can feel this little man moving around. I am not yet sure if I can feel his kicks or punches, but I feel something, that is for sure.
This past weekend, I was watching TV, and as my belly is getting larger, I see it more than I ever have before. Well, I thought I saw my belly move, but wasn't sure, so I continuously watched, and sure enough, little man was moving so much that it was visible from the outside. Alan also caught it as well. It was so special that I was able to experience something and then instantly share it with him.
People have often said to me "Wait until your tummy moves on its own, or you see hand move across" Well.....I had no idea it would be so soon.
I almost want to rush to the store and grab a packet of Malteesers and be just like the couple on the commercial! haha

I am currently 24 weeks and 4 days, ALREADY!!! It seems as though the time has passed so quickly, of course with a few very slow days and week squeezed in there as well.

Our preparations for him have slowed down for now. We ordered a new window for his room, but it cannot be installed until sometime in September, so we have to wait until after the installation to be able to paint, and decorate, we will also wait for our divorce...I mean furniture building day until after the install as well. Since I won't be able to lift the furniture, I think I will stay out of that altogether, especially as it can be so stressful for couples to share in building furniture! haha
I think we have all the diapers we need though, unless of course I hate a certain style and have to replace them. We did buy a dresser/changetable this weekend though.

Steph has started planning the shower, which will happen in October. I am so excited!!!! She will do an amazing job as a host! I hope that everyone will be able to come and celebrate with me.

This weekend, I am flying to Ontario, only to hop in my Mom's convertible car shortly after landing, with my sisters and mom, to spend the weekend in Buffalo, NY. It should be a good time, hopefully there aren't any family fights or freakouts. No guarantees of course though! It will be neat to see my oldest sister Christine pregnant as I don't think I saw her pregnant with her first at all!

At the end of the month, I have my 4D ultrasound scheduled. As creeped out as I am by these scans, I am excited to get a sneak peek of baby and confirm again that he does in fact have a penis! I am allowed to bring people with me, and so far, Steph and Caitlin are coming. Zoe will also be in from Houston that weekend, so hopefully she can attend as well!!!

Things are going so well. I am though, incredibly lazy, and seriously cannot even remember the last time I cooked or cleaned. I still do laundry all the time, but other than that NOTHING!!! I even ask Alan to get me things like ice cream and water! I feel horrible, but at the same time, I know I have limited time left to be lazy or bored, so I am going to ride this out as long as possible, in which, these days are numbered anyway. This second trimester has really shown me the true meaning of fatigue and discomfort. Still manageable though, where I can productively continue to work and function (on some days), so that's good.

On another note, this past weekend, we were able to help friends move, attend the annual Capital Ex Festivities and do lots of yard work. Alan did the most part of the yard work, okay, all of it, I did have to refill his water though, as it was another scortcher this weekend. I also did a little shopping, and Alan fixed his newly aquired weed eater and blower!

Life is great! I am in great health, as is Baby Bond and Alan. The pets are happy, healthy and full of love, the bills are paid, we love our house and jobs, and of course eachother, what more could we ask for? Our lives are damn near perfect!!!!

Happy August Everyone!

And finally....some updated photos (although not from this week)!

22w1d

23w1d

23w1d (this picture looks funny because it my belly looks all bumpy and the way I am standing I am really looking as though I will tip over!!!)

The Joys of Sickness

2010-07-20T11:13:00.000-06:00

Well, another week passes, and another illness rears its ugly sick head!!
We went to a wedding this weekend, and part way through the reception, I instantly felt sick. I had only eaten a couple bites of food, so I doubt it was the food, maybe it was the company! Ha!!
Anyway, I get the fever and chills just like the flu, and the abdominal cramping starts too. We leave shortly after the speeches, but do have a quick dance with little baby! He moves so much when music is playing. I'm going to say its love and not hate!
I get home, straight to bed, and the next morning is HORRIBLE! I am so cold that I can barely even get out of bed to use the loo, which of course was where I needed to spend most of my day. I was in bed all day with a couple quick escapes for the toilet, drink, and to let pup out.
When Alan came home he made me some soup, and then I basically went back to bed. Felt great to eat though.
Monday was basically the same. I stayed home from work and slept for the most part. The abdominal cramping was so bad. I seriously thought I was in labour. In fact, I called Alan at work on Sunday and told him I was having contractions. I had never felt this type of pain before and certainly not to that extent. At one point, I even checked for dialation and crowning of a head! No joke! This was by all means not normal cramping.
Kobe and Lewis were very supportive and curious about me.

So, here we are on Tuesday, and there is still no baby, as it turns out, Alan was correct I wasn't in labour.
I am seeing a specialist today about my bone disease, so I will bring up all the issues I have been having lately. Including all the gorrey details, that for your sanity I did spare you! Seriously, you're welcome!!!! Hopefully she can assist me with the other problems, which I have decided are intestinal issues and not pregnancy related.

BUT.....on Sunday, I was in bed...of course....Alan came to see me, and I said that the little one was going mental, so Alan touched my tummy where I indicated, and then before I could even say something or look at him, he says "I felt it" then of course, he got his Daddy proud smile on, and kissed me. It was another glorious first for Alan. Truly amazing!!!

Throughout all the illnesses I have had and all the uncertainty in this pregnancy, these little moments of joy that I experience and especially see in Alan make me realize the joys that I am going through now, and will go through later! In the end, it is all worth it. That I know. Sometimes, it is just hard to see past the fog.

Poked, Sore, and Annoyed!

2010-07-12T10:34:00.001-06:00

I think that it is completely normal to have ridiculous fears. For example, some of my biggest fears of childbirth are:
a) How will Alan cope with the gore and stress?
b) I have to have IV
c) I have to wear a hospital gown
d) Tearing
I could see caring about Alan and the tearing being legit, but a fear of IV and gowns? Give me a break. It's not my fault though, those are just fears that I have.

I won't even mention my regular daily fears! haha

Well, yesterday....I had to have 2 IV's and I saw a peek at how Alan will be during the birth.

Friday I started having some pains, felt like an ovarian cyst. The pain the radiated towards my back in my kidney area. And, I am no stranger to cysts or kidney problems. Saturday night it seemed to get worse, so bad even that the pressure was almost too much to handle. Not pains really, more pressure.
Sunday morning, I woke up, and it was still there, I called Capital Health Link and they suggested that I go to the hospital where I will deliver, skip Emerg, and go straight to the Maternity Ward.
As it turns out, they were short staffed, and (after crying and getting lost) I learnt that all patients were being seen in Labour and Delivery. Alone, I walk into the main area, where 20 nurses or nurse looking people stare at me. I then tell them I was referred here by Capital Health Link, am 21 weeks, and am in pain. Immediately, I get wisked away to room 71. The nurse throws me in a gown, lays me down, puts monitors on my belly, and listens to what appears to be a baby with great vital signs and lots of activity. (Such a relief!!!)

THEN...they ask my name, and why I am there. They were great, immediately I was cared for, and my baby's health was looked into.
Shortly after this, Alan showed up, witnessed a vaginal exam (he was looking away, I felt so bad for him, and I actially felt somewhat violated that he had to witness it), I gave blood (1 failed attempt, 1 successful) and also gave more blood for my "cultures" test. (Alan had his head between his legs, trying not to pass out). I also had to give urine. Alan left just after this to put more money in the meter, warm his feet (it was freezing) and also to check the score of the soccer game. What he did miss though, was when they tried to administer the IV. I really didn't want it in my hand, and my tears helped relay this. The nurse left, got another, and tried my arm. OMFG!!!! I felt the GIANT needle puncture my skin, then puncture something else, and then a lot of movement. She couldn't find the vain. Taking the needle out was even worse. I breathed, and tried to concentrate that it wasn't a big deal, but at one point, I did let out a little squeal. Alan then comes back into the room, and I know wants to leave again, which sets me into a fit of giggles. Then time for round 2 of the IV, this time in my right hand. The nurse (another new one) uses a much smaller needle, thank god. I look at Alan who is looking at me, but it breaks my heart to see him suffer, so I just look up to the ceiling and stare and cry.
Good Times!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I am not scared of needles at all, and actually prefer to watch them go in rather than look away, but giving blood or getting a shot, seems so much less invasive than an IV. This has always been a fear of mine. I did have IV one other time, but I was so high on meds that I had no idea what was going on, and it was in my wrist, so still better than my hand.

The antibiotics FINALLY come, and then the wait begins. Because I am allergic to EVERYTHING there wasn't much they could give me, so they use the IV, and the nurse stands there and waits to make sure I don't have a reaction.
The nurse leaves and more waiting around. Alan and I were so bored!!!! We snooped in all the cabinets (well, he did, I couldn't move, fear of the IV being ripped out, and blood everywhere!!!!), and then I whinged about my butt being numb, wearing a gown with a stain on it, and being so cold. It was freezing in there, Alan even used the blowdryer to warm his toes!!!
The neat part of it all though, was that we were in a delivery room, so we know what to expect for next time!!! A little view of the future!

I am sure that more stuff happened, and I was tested for other things as well, but I truly forget. Maybe it wasn't even all in that order. At the end of the day though, the only conclusive test we had was that I had high levels of potassium. My kidneys and ovaries appeared to be normal. We skipped seeing the radiologist at this point. I do have to give more blood today though, and other results will be in tomorrow. The doctor (who was called in from the pre-natal clinic I go to) does recommend that I see the specialist that I have been hiding from for a couple months now. I am not impressed about this. She figures that my bone disease could be an underlying issue in regards to my kidney problems and potassium levels. The levels though aren't so high that I need to be medicated for it.

I just hope to get my issues with my kidneys sorted out. The paint that I experience and the troubles I get has to be something. How can it not be??? This pain sometimes is so extreme that I have collapsed in pain! Childbirth will be a breeze I am sure!!!

But, I wore a gown, no big deal really.....had the IV...it was hell....saw Alan deal with all this, but at least he got a preview. Now all I have to conquer is the tearing part! Well, I could always skip this I guess. haha

The care was amazing though, I never expected anything THAT great. I finally saw the new hospital, which is great, and the baby is fine, and as it stands right now, so am I!!!! I did though, wear clothes that made me look as pregant as possible, and I cramed my wedding rings on my finger, as I assumed (which Alan thinks I am crazy) that married women get better care than whores off the street. (This was never confirmed!)

I did get some photos of course though!!!

All hooked up!!!

The IV that worked in my hand.

The successful bloodwork arm, and unsuccessful IV arm. (It is still throbbing, I had no idea skin is actually removed form my arm!!!!)

***Update: shortly after posting this blog, I did have a reaction to my new antibiotics. The reason I didn't take them last night was because I am allergic to everything, and we didn't want anything to happen while I was sleeping.

I waited till I was at work today and around other people. I did react though.....I threw up MANY times at my desk in my garbabge can.....how embarrasing!!! It wasn't an allergic reaction like usual, just a side effect. so, that's good. It is an antibiotic comparable to pencillin which I can't have, so that's a good sign!

Warning about Popcorn Kernels

2010-07-05T09:16:00.001-06:00

This past week was a great one, for so many reasons. Gender Determination, organizing fiasco somewhat progressing, standing up for myself....etc.
I got off work early on Friday, at noon, and then went to some baby stores and bought 4 more diapers and a couple covers. They're so cute!!!
Saturday, a friend and I went to the Farmers Market in St. Albert, and it was great! Bought some cherries, lunch and popcorn. Kettle Corn! Yum!!!! After the market, we took the parking ticket off the window and continued on shopping. I bought 7 cute little sleepers! I can't wait to hold something so small wearing them!

The rest of Saturday and Sunday were relaxing. Kobe and I couldn't get off the chair, and watched TV mostly the entire time. Between naps and a couple quick loads of laundry and of course finishing the Kettle Corn.

While watching TV, I felt this little pop inside me. It almost felt like gas, but not at the same time. I instantly wondered if it was a "flutter". What the hell is a freakin flutter?? and who came up with this term???

Later on last night, I was having such a hard time. I was really crampy and was feeling a lot of pressure and muscles moving, etc. I was VERY uncomfortable. We had nachos in the livingroom and had to use the coffee table as our table, and it is very low, and leaning over like that is more of a challenge now than it once was. All of my comfy pants were in the wash, so I literally had to resort to pulling my pants down and around my thighs while I wait. (That or I wear dress pants) After whinging to Alan about what my life has become, he told me he understood how I felt. I quickly reminded him that he has never grown a human inside him, so he actually doesn't know. And like the great man he is, he agreed that no, he doesn't actually understand he just feels bad that I am uncomfortable.

Well, after supper, we were watching TV, and I felt little popping again. I told Alan and he said for sure it must have been our son. I felt my skin to feel if it was on the outside, but it was so hard to concentrate. We even had to mute the TV!!!

So....either, I was being punched or kicked by our baby; or the popcorn kernels I may have eaten were popping inside me!
Lying in bed I felt it again! It was so neat and real. I am so excited for when Alan can feel it for himself!!!!

*** Update: Since I have posted this blog a few hours ago, the popping has continued!!! I am definately sure now that my little man is saying hello and that it is not popcorn kernels!!! YAY!!!! This is so hard to believe. This time last year I never imagined feeling a baby inside me move, because I never thought we would actually conceive. Or I was thinking cycle to cycle and not anything after an actual positive pregnancy test. (Which I also didn't believe would happen) I really didn't imagine these emotions I would feel. I didn't realize that everyday would be a new day, and even though when people ask me how I am, I always say that everyday is a new day, I believe it more and more now. The changes are so drastic and so sudden. And really, there are somethings I feel every woman experiences in their own way at their own time. No one can tell you what it will be like. No one can really say the emotions you experience when you feel this "fluttering". Just this morning I still felt kinda creeped out by a human moving inside me, but at this moment I sit here with tears in my eyes, amazed at what the female body can do, but more importantly, what MY body can do!!! This is my baby inside me, my son, Mine and Alan's and I couldn't be more excited. I am still suprised that I look back 10 years from today; before Alan and I were together, and I knew, I knew right away when I met him that he would be the father of my children. And here I sit, with something he and I created growing inside me!!!! I think right now, I am overwhelemed with the feelings of love!!!!!!

Penis or Vagina????

2010-06-30T09:18:00.001-06:00

So, yesterday was the day I had been anticipating for exactly 3 months, the day of my first pre-natal appointment I was given a req for my my ultrasound.
It suprises me that the day has come and gone, my 2nd Trimester diagnostic ultrasound!
The tech was really nice. The day didn't turn out as planned. I am horribly sick again, and ended up leaving work to go to the hospital to get my breathing checked out, as it was getting more difficult to breathe and my inhaler simply wasn't working. Alan ended up driving me to work and the entire time, I coughed so much that I was heaving and puking into a bag. I was very concerned that I wasn't getting enough oxygen and in turn the baby wouldn't be either. And also, I had a lot of pressure in my abdomen, and wasn't sure if I could have ruptured something. I had no idea.
So, after that, we grabbed some lunch, head off to Indigo Books for a minute, and then to the Clinic. I was there early, and they were able to get my in early as well. So, that was great. The only downside was that I didn't drink enough water. (I thought I could fool them) The tech then made me drink 5 styrofoam glasses of warm water! I know, you must think I have lost all my morals - I DRANK FROM A STYROFOAM CUP!!! This is something I NEVER do!!
So, after my warm water earth ruining chug event, she starts. And I mention to her that WE would like to know the sex of the baby. A couple minutes later, she simply states "You are having a baby boy" she turns the screen so I can see it, and shows me that there is in fact a penis and a scrotum. It is 100% confirmed. There was no mistaking it. We also saw the cord, so I know it wasn't mistaken for a penis, as I have heard that this can sometimes happen. I was shocked that she told me like that, as I said WE, not I. Oh well. (My reaction was simply me stating "I knew it", I didn't feel much emotion wise, I think I just wanted Alan there to be with me, to experience it all.)
Later I have to make her stop as I have the worst paine ver in my kidney. Same as the pains I have had so many times before. I knew it was my kidney, and I needed to get up and walk around. I told her about it, and she didn't seem too concerned. Then it became so bad, that I just sat up, and got off the table and moved around. I threw off that disgusting slimy hospital gown and was only in my bra and underware. Note: My dignity is already gone!!!
I was in so much pain that I couldn't even speak well, and she did look atmy kidneys, but nothing she saw was unusual. I also don't think she is a qualified kidney inspection expert. I even looked at he screen to see if I saw an entire family of bugs eatting away at my vital organs. I saw no such thing.
So...back to the good stuff!!!! Alan comes into the room finally, (I was just finishing peeing) as the diagnostics part of the xam is over. He walks in, I lay back on the bed.....still pretty much naked, as I wasn't putting that gross slimy lubricated thing all over my newly shaped body. I smile at him, and tell him I know what it is. The tech then shows him the head, the arms, leg, spine and penis. He was so shocked, I think he was convinced it was going to be a girl. He looked so suprised and so happy, that I fully reacted and got tears in my own eyes. His smile was perfect, and was ear to ear!!!
Then the calls and texts started, and usually those I called knew why I was calling, so when they picked up, I simply screamed out "I saw a penis!!!" hahaha
All in all, despite all my health problems that day, it was perfect!!!!!! We know the sex of our baby and are so happy!!!!!!
Congratulations to us AGAIN!!!!

Joy Joy Joy!!!!

2010-06-28T10:53:00.000-06:00

Two posts in 1 day! I must be going crazy!!!!

Anyway, the xray clinic just called to confirm my appointment tomorrow at 2pm!!!!
I also then asked if their techs will determine the sex of the baby. And she assured me that as long as I am between 18-20 weeks (I AM!!) and the baby will allow it that they will tell us!
I then asked her if all the techs do, that I heard through the horrible mean people ruining lives grapevine that some techs do not believe this is necessary and could not disclose it to us.
She then assured me, after giggling, that as far as she knows, all the techs there do tell you if you want to know!
Finally, the world is at peace!

I Don't Have Immunity!!!

2010-06-28T08:45:00.001-06:00

This pregnancy has brought me many things, and taught me many things.
One thing I have been given over and over, is illness. The ALL DAY sickness has passed, and, and I get mini flus and colds over and over. Friday just after noon the latest one started. I ended up going to bed at 7:30pm, waking up late the next morning, all without food, so needless to say I was very weak, and the heat wafting through the house didn't help at all either!!! Alan was full of energy though, and got so much done around the house it was unreal! He was like a machine. I did manage to shower though and go to a bday party for a 2 year old, and then I just layed in my chair and watched crap TV all day! Same for Sunday as well, other than the trip to Home Depot, Thyme, and Canadian Tire.

To make matters even worse, I was on edge all weekend, loosing valuable sleep over my ultrasound tomorrow! I am so scared that I am going to have some mean old bitch who won't tell me the sex of the baby. I know how things go down at the last place I went, but this is a different clinic this time, and I don't know what to expect. I know that last time they allowed Alan in with me, and went through everything in detail. She even let me pee part way through the ultrasound, which if you have ever been pregnant and forced to hold over 1 Litre of liquid in your bladder before, while laying on your back wth pressure applied to your tummy you can appreciate my praise when I was told to go for a pee and then come back! Why wouldn't I come back though, I was in a freakin hospital gown!!!!!

It seems as though I have no control over what I feel either. It is so pathetic really. Why can I not just put my mind at rest and think of something else. Even this morning, when Kobe came on the bed with me, he was so cute and so snuggled in with me, that normally I would wake Alan up to show him, but even Kobe can't lift my spirits on this one. I wish I had more control over my mind and my emotions.

But ya, back to the original topic. I hate being sick. It is basically just me in the office this week, so I have to be here all day every day (except my appointment tomorrow). My cough is so bad that this morning on the way to work I coughed so hard that I puked all over my seat and some of it even got on my leg. EWWWWWW!!!

And, on another note, I think I am suffocating my boobs. I finally broke down yesterday and bought new bras. My nipples were always hanging out of the ones I had, and enough was enough. I went to Thyme, as I had previously gone everywhere else and had no luck.
Well, I ended up buying 2, and they are so annoying. It was okay in the store OF COURSE, but as I am wearing it today, it is so tight, the straps are so thick, the undwire is digging in between my boobs, and I just want to rip it off immediately. What I want to find, are the bras I currently have and LOVE, just a size larger, but I can't find them anymore.

If anyone has any remedies or advice on how to treat a cold and cough while in my "condition", please do let me know!

Baby Bond Is On The Way!!!

2010-06-22T19:10:00.001-06:00

I am offically telling everyone now that Alan and I are expecting!! I should also add that Lewis and Kobe are as well, but they just don't know yet. We keep prepping them, but they will realize soon enough. We are still keeping Lewis out of the spare room, as we still want to maintain the only hair free zone in the house! Not only are Alan and I expecting, but so are Zoe and Zane (Alan's sister) and Christine and Todd (my sister). They are both a few weeks behind me. Both sets grandparents are going to have a busy fall thats for sure!!!

Our official due date is November 19, 2010. I can't believe I am already half way done my pregnancy. These last months have gone by so quickly yet so slowly at the same time.

It is hard to imagine a little baby in our house. We have so much to do for preparations still. We need to clean out the den, move the guest room into the den, and then the guest room where it is currently will become the BABIES ROOM!!! OMG!!!!

I guess I will start from the beginning......This journey for us started over a year ago, and finally a positive result on the pregnancy test. After being motionless for seconds and in shock, I automatically assumed I must have done something wrong, afterall, I had had so many negative results, that I couldn't believe we had a positive one. On my lunch break one day (March 17, 2010) I decided to pop out of the office for my remainig 15 minutes, buy a test, and go for a pee. Well, we all know how impatient I am, so I walked into any old office building that had them for sale, then went up a few floors, found a bathroom and did the test. I immediately called a couple friends, but couldn't even really speak cause I was still motionless and in shock. (Emailing pictures is what I resulted to in the end) I NEVER thought this was going to happen, it seemed like such a long "trying" period, and our next option was for fertility testing. I had already been awaiting my appointment with a specialist.

After somehow managing to walk the few blocks back to my building, I walked in, and went into a co-workers office and put her hand on my chest to let her feel my heart beat. I still laugh as some errors are coming up that were made that day! I really can't be held accountable for whatever I did those last few hours of that day.

I had planned on how to tell Alan months previous to this, when I thought I may have been pregnant, but after getting bloodwork done to confirm it, I got home, and SUPRISE....not pregnant!!!! I decided that I didn't like that idea anymore, as it wasn't my current feelings, so in my daze of emotions that day, I came up with this idea (see picture). Let me tell you...there is still a dent on my kitchen floor from where I stood forever staring out the window so I could see Alan's reaction as he parked the truck after work. As he got out of the truck, I sent Kobe outside for his greeting, then waited to see what Alan said. He then asked me if I was serious. Do I seem that evil that I would do this as a joke! He said when he called to say he was on his way home, he knew something was up, he could hear it in my voice. We then cut the balloons off, and let them go in the air for good luck. (That, and and we can't have them in the house as the cat will go mental!) I was really happy with the way I told/showed Alan the news, and he used to always comment to me when I parked in the "Expectant Mothers Parking Only" spots at the mall....they have the great spots so close to the doors! This was a good play on my old trick anyway!

March 17 seems like so long ago, as so much has happened since then. Both my body and memory are long gone. Gone also, is the morning sickness. I never thought this would pass. I was on Diclectin for a few weeks, and occasionally I still dry heave, but after a few minutes this passes. I no longer vomit at the sight of bread, but now suffer with a sore tummy at night because popscicles always seem like a good idea at the time!!!

Below are some pictures!!!

9 Weeks!!! (Looking, but not feeling the same as I was 9 weeks previously!!!)

Our little Babers at the 11 week genetic testing ultrasound appointment! This is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Alan was suprised to see that it wasn't all just "mush"

13 Weeks (Definately starting to show!)

The following were all taken in England a couple weeks ago when I was 17 weeks.

This is the news that I have been waiting so long to tell everyone!!!!! Congratualtions to Alan and I!!!!