Three weeks ago if someone asked me the definition of: love, time, patience, sleep, food, breasts, marriage and family, I would have answered very differently then than I would today. It is amazing how your life can change in the blink of an eye. Even though I had a full 40 week planned pregnancy, the feeling of holding your baby in your arms, is not something you can be prepared for.
I can't even describe how it feels to be rocking your baby to sleep at 3:00am, sobbing, tears falling onto his head, completely frustrated, and then to look at your baby and tell them how much you love them, and how long you waited to meet them. Love has a whole new meaning to me now.
Breastfeeding....it is hard....it is learned...and it is trying. Even though breastfeeding is so natural for women and children, it is by all means not easy. It is something that the baby and mother have to learn together, by trial and error. I have shed many tears of frustration over this wonderful experience. Even 3 weeks later we are still working on perfecting the latch, timing and of course nursing to soothe. I have received so much advice/opinions on all topics. I have taken offense to some advice, and I am sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me. I know that people mean well, but I think sometimes it can come across as overbearing and rude.
I have had a couple people tell me to let my baby cry, or to offer a soother to calm him, and also not to let him sleep in his bassinet. Funny thing is, we didn't want a bassinet, but it was a good purchase. It is much easier to stay in bed and gather my baby, rather than to fully wake up, turn on lights etc. As far as rocking, soothers, etc go. I had a friend tell me that they rock their child to sleep and don't always offer a soother. They might offer their breast and simple comforts like being held. I thought this was great to hear. This friend explained it by saying that she wants her child to know that she will always be there for them. They can always count on mom, and sometimes, even as an adult, a hug can make everything better. How true is that!?!?!?!?!
Anyway, it has been 3 weeks since my life changed dramatically. It is great, and definitely a learning process. I am beginning to learn what my baby needs and when he needs it. Sometimes it is a guessing game, other times I truly know. I know his signs of hunger, which I presume are the same for all babies. I think I know when he has gas, needs changed, and I know when he wants to be cuddled (which is always!!!!) I can tell how deeply he is sleeping, and I can also tell when he will wake. The things you learn from staring at and spending all day with someone are infinite! But, he is my baby, and I do know him best!!!
So, from the new me, the MOM, I do want to apologize to everyone who I may have been short or harsh with. This is an adjustment time for me, and I think all new moms learn best by following their instincts and not always by advice, which often comes across as opinions and pressure.
What a perfect post! This needs to be shortened somehow, without loosing the effect and printed on t-shirts for new Mums to wear!
ReplyDeletePLEASE tell me if I am EVER coming off as rude or pushy or anything - I never mean to, but I typing it out can be hard sometimes and it would be so much easier if you just lived here...so move home already!
I agree with you Randi on this post. I think there may have been some comments from me in there and I can tell there is another one from a dear friend of yours.
ReplyDeleteIf I've ever said anything to make you feel bad, I truely am sorry.
Sometimes people give advise whether it is asked for or not. I know I sure have done that.
Just remember that you are Sutton's mom and you will always know best what he needs.
I think you put it perfectly. And i think it is big of you to apologize. God knows I never did. I was too angry/annoyed that other people(experienced though they may be) thought they knew better for my daughter than i did.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard, it is exhausting. And sometimes in the middle of a hard night, while sobbing, face soaked in tears, exhaustion leaving you stumbling into the wall while trying to soothe/feed etc...you think things like "why did i think I could do this?!?!" but then a split second later you realize how much you love you child and how powerful that love makes you because he/she only wants you!
And you know what is best for him, regardless of advice because you know his faces, his noises, his wiggles better than you do your own. I am so proud of you and happy for you that you are having such an amzing motherhood experience so far!