The Joys of Sickness

Well, another week passes, and another illness rears its ugly sick head!!
We went to a wedding this weekend, and part way through the reception, I instantly felt sick.  I had only eaten a couple bites of food, so I doubt it was the food,  maybe it was the company!  Ha!! 
Anyway, I get the fever and chills just like the flu, and the abdominal cramping starts too.  We leave shortly after the speeches, but do have a quick dance with little baby!  He moves so much when music is playing.  I'm going to say its love and not hate!
I get home, straight to bed, and the next morning is HORRIBLE!  I am so cold that I can barely even get out of bed to use the loo, which of course was where I needed to spend most of my day.  I was in bed all day with a couple quick escapes for the toilet, drink, and to let pup out.
When Alan came home he made me some soup, and then I basically went back to bed.  Felt great to eat though.
Monday was basically the same.  I stayed home from work and slept for the most part.  The abdominal cramping was so bad.  I seriously thought I was in labour.  In fact, I called Alan at work on Sunday and told him I was having contractions.  I had never felt this type of pain before and certainly not to that extent.  At one point, I even checked for dialation and crowning of a head!  No joke!  This was by all means not normal cramping. 
Kobe and Lewis were very supportive and curious about me.

So, here we are on Tuesday, and there is still no baby, as it turns out, Alan was correct I wasn't in labour.
I am seeing a specialist today about my bone disease, so I will bring up all the issues I have been having lately.  Including all the gorrey details, that for your sanity I did spare you!  Seriously, you're welcome!!!! Hopefully she can assist me with the other problems, which I have decided are intestinal issues and not pregnancy related.

BUT.....on Sunday, I was in bed...of course....Alan came to see me, and I said that the little one was going mental, so Alan touched my tummy where I indicated, and then before I could even say something or look at him, he says "I felt it"  then of course, he got his Daddy proud smile on, and kissed me.  It was another glorious first for Alan.  Truly amazing!!!

Throughout all the illnesses I have had and all the uncertainty in this pregnancy, these little moments of joy that I experience and especially see in Alan make me realize the joys that I am going through now, and will go through later!  In the end, it is all worth it.  That I know.  Sometimes, it is just hard to see past the fog. 

Poked, Sore, and Annoyed!

I think that it is completely normal to have ridiculous fears.  For example, some of my biggest fears of childbirth are: 
a) How will Alan cope with the gore and stress?
b) I have to have IV
c) I have to wear a hospital gown
d) Tearing
I could see caring about Alan and the tearing being legit, but a fear of IV and gowns?  Give me a break.  It's not my fault though, those are just fears that I have.

I won't even mention my regular daily fears!  haha

Well, yesterday....I had to have 2 IV's and I saw a peek at how Alan will be during the birth.

Friday I started having some pains, felt like an ovarian cyst.  The pain the radiated towards my back in my kidney area.  And, I am no stranger to cysts or kidney problems.  Saturday night it seemed to get worse, so bad even that the pressure was almost too much to handle.  Not pains really, more pressure.
Sunday morning, I woke up, and it was still there, I called Capital Health Link and they suggested that I go to the hospital where I will deliver, skip Emerg, and go straight to the Maternity Ward.
As it turns out, they were short staffed, and (after crying and getting lost) I learnt that all patients were being seen in Labour and Delivery.  Alone, I walk into the main area, where 20 nurses or nurse looking people stare at me.  I then tell them I was referred here by Capital Health Link, am 21 weeks, and am in pain.  Immediately, I get wisked away to room 71.  The nurse throws me in a gown, lays me down, puts monitors on my belly, and listens to what appears to be a baby with great vital signs and lots of activity. (Such a relief!!!)

THEN...they ask my name, and why I am there.  They were great, immediately I was cared for, and my baby's health was looked into.
Shortly after this, Alan showed up, witnessed a vaginal exam (he was looking away, I felt so bad for him, and I actially felt somewhat violated that he had to witness it), I gave blood (1 failed attempt, 1 successful) and also gave more blood for my "cultures" test.  (Alan had his head between his legs, trying not to pass out).  I also had to give urine.  Alan left just after this to put more money in the meter, warm his feet (it was freezing) and also to check the score of the soccer game.  What he did miss though, was when they tried to administer the IV.  I really didn't want it in my hand, and my tears helped relay this.  The nurse left, got another, and tried my arm.  OMFG!!!!  I felt the GIANT needle puncture my skin, then puncture something else, and then a lot of movement.  She couldn't find the vain.  Taking the needle out was even worse.  I breathed, and tried to concentrate that it wasn't a big deal, but at one point, I did let out a little squeal.  Alan then comes back into the room, and I know wants to leave again, which sets me into a fit of giggles.  Then time for round 2 of the IV, this time in my right hand.  The nurse (another new one) uses a much smaller needle, thank god.  I look at Alan who is looking at me, but it breaks my heart to see him suffer, so I just look up to the ceiling and stare and cry. 
Good Times!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I am not scared of needles at all, and actually prefer to watch them go in rather than look away, but giving blood or getting a shot, seems so much less invasive than an IV.  This has always been a fear of mine.  I did have IV one other time, but I was so high on meds that I had no idea what was going on, and it was in my wrist, so still better than my hand.

The antibiotics FINALLY come, and then the wait begins.  Because I am allergic to EVERYTHING there wasn't much they could give me, so they use the IV, and the nurse stands there and waits to make sure I don't have a reaction. 
The nurse leaves and more waiting around. Alan and I were so bored!!!!  We snooped in all the cabinets (well, he did, I couldn't move, fear of the IV being ripped out, and blood everywhere!!!!), and then I whinged about my butt being numb, wearing a gown with a stain on it, and being so cold.  It was freezing in there, Alan even used the blowdryer to warm his toes!!!
The neat part of it all though, was that we were in a delivery room, so we know what to expect for next time!!!  A little view of the future!

I am sure that more stuff happened, and I was tested for other things as well, but I truly forget. Maybe it wasn't even all in that order.  At the end of the day though, the only conclusive test we had was that I had high levels of potassium.  My kidneys and ovaries appeared to be normal.  We skipped seeing the radiologist at this point.  I do have to give more blood today though, and other results will be in tomorrow. The doctor (who was called in from the pre-natal clinic I go to) does recommend that I see the specialist that I have been hiding from for a couple months now.  I am not impressed about this.  She figures that my bone disease could be an underlying issue in regards to my kidney problems and potassium levels.  The levels though aren't so high that I need to be medicated for it.

I just hope to get my issues with my kidneys sorted out.  The paint that I experience and the troubles I get has to be something.  How can it not be???  This pain sometimes is so extreme that I have collapsed in pain!  Childbirth will be a breeze I am sure!!!

But, I wore a gown, no big deal really.....had the IV...it was hell....saw Alan deal with all this, but at least he got a preview.  Now all I have to conquer is the tearing part!  Well, I could always skip this I guess.  haha

The care was amazing though, I never expected anything THAT great.  I finally saw the new hospital, which is great, and the baby is fine, and as it stands right now, so am I!!!!  I did though, wear clothes that made me look as pregant as possible, and I cramed my wedding rings on my finger, as I assumed (which Alan thinks I am crazy) that married women get better care than whores off the street.  (This was never confirmed!)

I did get some photos of course though!!!

All hooked up!!!

The IV that worked in my hand.

The successful bloodwork arm, and unsuccessful IV arm.  (It is still throbbing, I had no idea skin is actually removed form my arm!!!!)

***Update:  shortly after posting this blog, I did have a reaction to my new antibiotics.  The reason I didn't take them last night was because I am allergic to everything, and we didn't want anything to happen while I was sleeping.

I waited till I was at work today and around other people.  I did react though.....I threw up MANY times at my desk in my garbabge can.....how embarrasing!!!  It wasn't an allergic reaction like usual, just a side effect.  so, that's good.  It is an antibiotic comparable to pencillin which I can't have, so that's a good sign!

Warning about Popcorn Kernels

This past week was a great one, for so many reasons.  Gender Determination, organizing fiasco somewhat progressing, standing up for myself....etc.
I got off work early on Friday, at noon, and then went to some baby stores and bought 4 more diapers and a couple covers.  They're so cute!!!
Saturday, a friend and I went to the Farmers Market in St. Albert, and it was great!  Bought some cherries, lunch and popcorn.  Kettle Corn!  Yum!!!!  After the market, we took the parking ticket off the window and continued on shopping. I bought 7 cute little sleepers!  I can't wait to hold something so small wearing them! 

The rest of Saturday and Sunday were relaxing.  Kobe and I couldn't get off the chair, and watched TV mostly the entire time.  Between naps and a couple quick loads of laundry and of course finishing the Kettle Corn.

While watching TV, I felt this little pop inside me.  It almost felt like gas, but not at the same time.  I instantly wondered if it was a "flutter".  What the hell is a freakin flutter??  and who came up with this term???

Later on last night, I was having such a hard time.  I was really crampy and was feeling a lot of pressure and muscles moving, etc.  I was VERY uncomfortable.  We had nachos in the livingroom and had to use the coffee table as our table, and it is very low, and leaning over like that is more of a challenge now than it once was.  All of my comfy pants were in the wash, so I literally had to resort to pulling my pants down and around my thighs while I wait.  (That or I wear dress pants)  After whinging to Alan about what my life has become, he told me he understood how I felt.  I quickly reminded him that he has never grown a human inside him, so he actually doesn't know.  And like the great man he is, he agreed that no, he doesn't actually understand he just feels bad that I am uncomfortable.

Well, after supper, we were watching TV, and I felt little popping again.  I told Alan and he said for sure it must have been our son.  I felt my skin to feel if it was on the outside, but it was so hard to concentrate.  We even had to mute the TV!!! 

So....either, I was being punched or kicked by our baby; or the popcorn kernels I may have eaten were popping inside me!
Lying in bed I felt it again!  It was so neat and real.  I am so excited for when Alan can feel it for himself!!!!

*** Update:  Since I have posted this blog a few hours ago, the popping has continued!!!  I am definately sure now that my little man is saying hello and that it is not popcorn kernels!!!  YAY!!!!  This is so hard to believe.  This time last year I never imagined feeling a baby inside me move, because I never thought we would actually conceive.  Or I was thinking cycle to cycle and not anything after an actual positive pregnancy test. (Which I also didn't believe would happen)  I really didn't imagine these emotions I would feel.  I didn't realize that everyday would be a new day, and even though when people ask me how I am, I always say that everyday is a new day, I believe it more and more now.  The changes are so drastic and so sudden.  And really, there are somethings I feel every woman experiences in their own way at their own time. No one can tell you what it will be like.  No one can really say the emotions you experience when you feel this "fluttering".  Just this morning I still felt kinda creeped out by a human moving inside me, but at this moment I sit here with tears in my eyes, amazed at what the female body can do, but more importantly, what MY body can do!!!  This is my baby inside me, my son, Mine and Alan's and I couldn't be more excited.  I am still suprised that I look back 10 years from today; before Alan and I were together, and I knew, I knew right away when I met him that he would be the father of my children.  And here I sit, with something he and I created growing inside me!!!!  I think right now, I am overwhelemed with the feelings of love!!!!!!