1 Little Monkey Falling Off The Bed!

Dear Lord, it happened. My baby got hurt on my watch. I'm told this is normal and will happen time and time again, but that didn't make me feel any better at the time it happened, or even now.
Sutton was in bed with me, as he normally is in the mornings. After nursing and napping on and off for a couple hours, he decided it was more fun to kick me in the face, repeatedly. This is part of his daily morning routine. I am usually awake at this point singing, laughing, talking, fake sleeping or anything else that comes along.
Today was like normal, then I fell asleep. This is when IT happened... I woke very alert because I heard a thud, then a cry. I flew out of bed and saw my precious little boy, laying on his back on the hard non carpeted bedroom floor. He was wedged between the bed and the side table. I instantly scooped him up while grabbing the phone. I called a friend who thanks to his firefighter education was able to assess Sutton through the phone. No blood, no obvious bump, pupils normal, not sleepy, etc.
I nursed him, he played, ate breakfast. I also held off his nap for almost an hour longer. He is just fine. Thank God.

This now brings some questions, which I've been trying to answer all day, but yet to have a definite answer.
Will Sutton be in our bed with just him and I again?

When he wakes around 230 or so, he comes to bed with me. I would love to nurse him in his room and put him back in his crib, but honestly, I always forget. I'm asleep and practically naked, and just bring him to bed with me. Lately Alan has been getting him and bringing him to our room. Sutton nurses, sleeps and the wakes around 6 or so and nurses on and off for a couple hours. Its usually just after 8 when we wake. SO, what do I do to change this routine?
I will add that Sutton exclusively co-slept with is for almost 8 solid months. He has only been in his crib for about 1 month, for the first half of the night for the most part. My day cannot start at 6am, that wouldn't work for either of us. Plus, sleeping, cuddling and nursing is a part of our day that I truly cherish. I think we both do. Even on the mornings that Alan is home we still do this, and Sutton always wakes Alan up by trying to climb on him.

Do I get a bed rail? Do I make sure I don't fall asleep, as I never have before. Do I make a barrier of some sort? Do I duct tape him to the bed!
I just don't want anything to change, things are perfect as they are, except for today when Sutton fell off the bed.

One thing to add, I went into the bedroom later today, to get dressed....at 2pm.....and saw the little mirror on the bed. He must have seen it, grabbed it, and then went to grab my hairspray, and that's when he fell. I don't know this, but this is what clues the evidence is leading towards.

Why did I fall into a real sleep and not just doze like normal?

Sutton is just fine now and got a little tougher today....or he is not going to be getting straight A's in school, I'm not sure.

The Decision Has Been Made

I'm sitting here in bed, with the house all tidied up and on lock down.  Alan is out of town again, and as much as I hate it, it is nice at the same time.  I have had a few hours all to myself, and it feels great.  Sutton isn't away, he is in his own crib in his own room, all sleepy and cosy, dreaming of mommy milk and pizza...maybe, maybe not!

So, Alan and I finally made the decision about me going back to work or not.  Well, I made my choice I guess, he is OK with whatever I decide.  I decided...that....I....am..... NOT.....going.... back.....to.....work.  This was such a hard decision for me.  Funny how it took me so long to decide, because come to think of it, I really knew this on Nov 19, 2010, I even remember the time, it was 10:45am.  I love to work, to learn, to be responsible and be in charge of doing something, and of course I like to social aspect of it.
I do work now though, everyday, all day with breaks being very rare, and lasting only minutes if i do get a break.  I am always on call, so I can't plan much for myself.  Or when I do plan something, I will never be alone or more than a few hours.

I haven't yet told my employer that I won't be returning.  I am sure they assume I won't be.  I went in for a meeting a few weeks back to discuss working part time, and they weren't willing to do half days.  This doesn't work for my nursling.  I though about half days elsewhere, but again, it's a childcare issue.  We...or I, don't feel comfortable leaving Buttons with anyone until he is around 2.  That way, I feel, I will have a better understanding through him what sort of care he is given.  He may be talking then, but I am sure I will really know by his behaviour.  It's crazy to think of my little boy being 2.
So, there, decision made.  I am going to officially be a full time mommy and housewife....with no financial compensation. How will we make ends meet, I have no idea.  Maybe we will have to sell everything we have....kidneys included, I have no idea.  We are very comfortable with this decision, and maybe after my mat leave runs out in November, we will have to re-evaluate.  We did discuss selling the house, and finding something more manageable.  I thought about taking in a child or 2 on a part time basis, delivering flyers, whatever it takes.  It won't equal my wage before Sutton, but we are starting to see that every dirty brown penny does count.

I finally feel comfortable and at peace.  I've taken the stress away by simply deciding, and knowing I am doing what is best for my son, and my family.  Perhaps now, I can focus on my health more as well.  Crap, I am supposed to be fasting for bloodwork tomorrow...opps! 

Summer is coming to end very quickly, and it feels as though it has just started.  I love summer, and I never want it to end.  Before long, it will be -40'C in this province, and all everyone will talk about is how cold it is.....
We have done so much this summer, and I can't believe that in a sense my summer continues, not the weather, but the feeling of freedom that summer brings.  No more back to school traffic, not seeing daylight because I am stuck in a concrete pit all day.  I will be home everyday with my little man, playing house in real life, only this time, I am not pretending to be the Dad, I am a mom...in REAL LIFE!!!!

I just had to sneak out of the house in my tank and undies to get the camera from the van so I could upload these pics!

I see him do this and think..."Omg, remember when he could hold his head up!" 

The swings could be an all day activity for Sutton!

My popsicle got stolen!

Sutton's other best friend!

Baby playdates...this was at the end when Sutton wanted a nap, or was mad because he was the only boy!

Almost 9 months...

The day I got pregnant didn't seem like long ago, and the day I gave birth seemed like yesterday. My little boy is growing so quickly. I am not the same person I was just months ago. I will never be that person again. The person I am now is more real, more patient, more loving, more sympathetic, and more true. Oh, and I am also SO busy.

My baby will be 9 months old in just days. I think about his birth daily, and when I look at his newborn pictures (which I wish were professional), it seems like a lifetime ago and at the same time like yesterday. He has changed so much. I know that every parent feels this as well, but I guess until you experience it yourself it's totally unimaginable.
I spoke to a friend recently and we mentioned how the parent I thought I was going to be is not the parent that I am.  I never thought I would co-sleep, nurse for as long as I have, not believe in CIO, and so many others. I love being Sutton's Mommy, and I think I do a really good job, better than I ever imagined.  Sutton recieves so much love and understanding.  I recognize his cues, and act on them.  I remember his personality and react accordingly.  He is such a sweet precious little boy.  I have never known love like I do now! Throw in the fact that I have an amazing husband who is a great father,  pretty much concludes that my life is perfect!!!

Yard Sale Crazy!

Oh my, yard sales are a great way to meet great people, as well as really really creepy people. It amazes me how some people are.

Here is the history behind our yard sale. I like to store things in Rubbermaid bins. This is a problem. Obviously! Luckily we have a great deal of storage in our house and it wasn't really a big issue to have them all, as they were hiding in the basement. Alan of course hates this. Last summer he started talking about having a yard sale. I wasn't a fan of this, as it meant that my precious belongings would be sold for next to nothing. I didn't like the idea of people coming onto our property. But most of all, it meant we had to go through all the bins. Yikes!
Alan brought it up again this year, and I said fine, let's do the stupid thing. We sold our downstairs living room furniture a couple weeks ago and this sparked it all. It was a time to clear it all out now. It took a couple nights and we got through it all. We skipped pricing and organizing because it seemed pointless to Alan, and hard for me to do with a baby. I love wearing Sutton, and he likes it too, but its too hard when bending and lifting, and stairs.
We agreed, or shall I say that Alan gave in to do it in the front yard.  As it tuens out...like I knew, it attracted so much more traffic.  I borrowed 5 long tables from a friend which was GREAT!!!

We started around noon on Thursday and went through until 9pm on Saturday.  We have sold so much of our treasures, I mean crap, but there is still lots left.

Someone asked if we had a DVD player, so we went and got ours and sold it, along with our TV from downstairs. After all, we don't have any furniture down there now.

Our neighbours joined us yesterday and we are having a joint garage sale, and it is so much fun.  On Saturday we took shifts, as we both had stuff to do at some point during the day/

We seem to attract many people who are not all there. They are mentally disabled, but provide a lot of chats to say the less. 
- One guy came looking for a DVD called Drums Of Africa. He was very persistent. It was crazy. He didn't have a computer but wanted us to go on ours and look for it online.   He was really annoying because he just wouldn't leave.
- One woman had a pile of stuff, we said $5, she said $10, SOLD.
- Many people drive past slowly looking, and then keep driving.
- 3 people have asked us if we have seen their dog. Alan yells no, I of course get their address, dogs name, description, etc. Haha poor puppy all lost!
- Our frist customer was a really odd character.  He was really greasy and yucky.  Super creep factor.  He touched everything, and talked about everything.  He tried on Alan's back support belt what seemed like a million times.
- Some cultures are SO cheap! It's unreal.  Like seriously, unreal.  We had a chair marked for $30, and she offers $10.  This is after Alan tells her she makes the chair look good!  haha  Gross!
- A few people came back a couple times, with their spouse or friend.
- I was nursing, and one woman asked me how old he was, I told her and she responded with "Oh, wow, and he't still attached.  Gross, I never breastfed, my nipples were too sensitive"  I decided to tell  her I would breastfeed for 2 years if Sutton was interested.  I wanted to scream at her and punch her in the face, but in the end decided against it.
- Things that sell are:  knives, flashlights, planters, DVD's, tools, clocks/watches, army stuff...dear god, did that stuff sell!!!!
- Unsuprisingly, only 3 people bought VHS tapes.
- Its amazing how many people are looking for something in particular.  Some even yell from their car.
- We had so may random cords, etc, and most people looked at them, that was entertaining.
- It was obvious where we intended people to walk, but only 2 walked though the wring way!
- I saw a nun for the first time ever!
- When you wave passer bys over, they do come!
- Most of the visitors early in the day were employees from the gas company, water, etc
- When we came back from being out on Saturday, our neighbour came running up to us, to tell us he destroyed our garage.  The opener is broken, and now needs replaced.  Not impressed, but it was an accident.
We actually had a lot of fun.  We made about $500.  How great is that.  The remainder we donated to Value Village, which is a really really scary place.
Sutton had a great time, he loves outside, and seeing people.  It was cute watching him try to get peoples attention.

Having so much fun!!!

 

The view!

 After 3 long days, this is what happens to Sutton's hair!